


Empire

by LoverofMidnight



Series: EMPIRE [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Blaming Arthur Pendragon, Self-harming Arthur Pendragon, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:42:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 24,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23532514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoverofMidnight/pseuds/LoverofMidnight
Summary: Arthur signed and press his face deeper into the pillow. His body felt heavy from the trashing he just took. He pressed himself just enough away from the bed to see the bruises starting to form on his stomach.
Relationships: Merlin / Arthur Pendragon
Series: EMPIRE [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1822537
Comments: 11
Kudos: 172





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Merlin.  
> Please leave a review, and tell me where you think there is room for improvement.

Arthur signed and press his face deeper into the pillow. His body felt heavy from the trashing he just took. He pressed himself just enough away from the bed to see the bruises starting to form on his stomach.   
Off the whole two weeks this was happing this was by far the worst day. He can feel the anger slowly burning in him. He was tired off killing people – his people- innocent people even if they did have magic.   
Not all of them can be evil. Surly they aren’t all evil. To him it looked more like they wanted to try and make a living with there families. Arthur choke back a sob. He is so tired off this. And Uther expects him to go out there in two days’ time and do it again.   
By the time Merlin made it up to his room, was Arthur so angry that a goblet was send to his head and a harsh ‘get out’. Merlin merely duck and got closer to him. He got used to seeing him like this. Ever since the attack well Uther’s demands were steadily getting worse and worse. Arthur couldn’t even talk senses into his father’s head without a screaming match.   
Arthur pushed himself from the table. “I said get out!” His breathing was fast. “Just get out.” The last part came out as a sob. Before anymore words could be said was Merlin against him just holding him. “Arthur…” Merlin’s voice trailed off. It seems that his name alone, was enough to start the tears.   
“I…I can’t do this anymore. Those people are my people. An- and I am killing them. They didn’t do anything wrong. Merlin. Those people are innocent. Why do I have to kill them?” There was silence in the room for a moment. Merlin was softly rubbing his back.   
“Because the king fears magic. He would always try to destroy it, and with you and the knights well he doesn’t have to get his hands dirty.” Merlin’s voice was soft. Arthur knew he was telling the truth.   
“We can always move them to a safe location.” Merlin suggests. He could see how tired Arthur was. Arthur immediately pushed himself away from Merlin. The movement made the bruises pull and he put his arm protectively over his stomach. Before Merlin could ask him if he was alright Arthur started to speak. “How would we move them?” If there was some why to get them to safety, he would gladly take it.   
Merlin was silent for a moment. It would be easy enough to use a transport spell to the camps and move them away. But Arthur still didn’t know about his magic.   
The silence stretched over a long time before Merlin give a sigh. “Promise me you won’t get mad?” His voice was soft but the fear in it made Arthur look up. “I promise.” “I am a warlock.” Merlin kept his hands so that Arthur can keep them in sight. Arthur started to shake his head. “No, please you have to leave. Please. If father find out.” Arthur could feel the fear rising in him.   
Merlin had to grab Arthur arms as he started to pull on his hair. “Stop that. He wouldn’t find out. I promise you; I have been keeping this secret since I step foot in Camelot.” His voice was fast and urgent. Arthur pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes.   
They sat there for a few moments. “I can’t lose you.” Arthur breath out. “You won’t, I would always be with you even in death.” Merlin give him a slight grin. “Come on it is time to face the world again. And leave the camps to me, I will make sure they are moved before the evening is done.” Merlin grin was bright and warm.   
Merlin went on with his normal duties for the day, the other servants if anyone would have asked them, would have told them that he was in a hurry they didn’t know about him.   
After Merlin fetch Arthur’s lunch, he disappeared from the castle until early evening. He had asked Guise to cover for him if anyone should come and asked for him. The only one who knew where he went was Arthur.   
Merlin gave a soft smile and focus his magic to the Druid camp. He could feel them moving about. There was fear in the air, but also hope. With a slight thump was he next to a tree by the camp. His movement made them looked up. An old man moved forward to him.   
“Young man, who might you be?” His voice was horse. Merlin gave them a slight nod as greeting. “Emrys. Crown Prince Arthur send me.” The whole group looked around in fear. Immediately the old man was angry. “Why would he send you? Hasn’t he done enough damaged? And you the supposed one to help us to freedom.”   
Before he could say anything else was there a magic barrier trapping them. “You would listen today and hear the truth. Arthur doesn’t want to do this; he sees you as his people. The King is losing his mind and his son is taking the brunt of his anger.” Merlin’s voice was harsh. His magic was showing them what was going on in the castle. Letting them hear the screaming matches that happens almost daily.   
“I will help you move 50 miles from here. You would be safe there for the time begin.” As suddenly as his anger flamed up did, he calmed down.   
There was suddenly a flurry of movement as they started to get ready to move away. Merlin gave a sigh and watch them.  
Arthur looked at the tactical map again. He pushed himself away from the map and pushed his hair backwards, the gesture was new on him.   
He glared at the map again, he could only hope that Merlin would get them to safety. But what if that isn’t enough anymore? He knows he would be punished for failing to kill them, for not doing as ordered. He could send out a few scouts five miles to north, east and west.  
The sudden rap against the door pushed him out of his thought. Sir Leon was standing in the door. “Sire, the King has called for you in the throne room, there was a sorcerer captured.” His voice was socked.   
Arthur walked to the door. “Who bought the case in front of the king?” Arthur hope it wasn’t someone young again. “Two guards Sire, she was caught trying to heal her goat.” Leon stopped walking suddenly. “Arthur, she is young.” Arthur’s stepped falter.   
“How young?”   
“10 summers Sire.” Arthur turn to look at him. There was a slight pleading look in his eyes. “Please tell me you are lying.” “I am sorry Sire.” Before Leon can say anything has Arthur started to run to the throne room. He knows his father won’t give a damn that it is still a child.   
Before he knows it was, he in front of the throne room. The guards pressed the doors open for him.  
“Good of you to join us Arthur.” Uther’s voice was harsh. There was a small family in front of the throne. A small girl was silently crying as her parents were forced away from her.   
Arthur didn’t walk further into the room. “Throw her in the dungeon, she will be executed tomorrow morning at dawn.”   
“Father, you can’t do that.” Arthur felt a small trickle of fear going through him. But he kept his eyes on Uther. The looked sent his why made him go cold. The king didn’t say anything, but his eyes made his message very clear. Everyone immediately started to leave the room.   
The king pushed himself up. “And might I asked, why do you question me before my subjects?” His voice was colder than ice. He made his why to Arthur.   
“Because she is still a child. She doesn’t deserve to die. She was just trying to safe her goat; she didn’t hurt anyone.”   
TBC


	2. Empire 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Merlin.  
> Please leave a review and tell me where you think there is room for improvement.

Uther took a deep breath as if he was trying to get his anger under control. He puts his hand on Arthur shoulder. “She might have only tried to heal her goat today, but she will grow stronger and stronger. In a few years’ time the magic will corrupt her, and she would cause disarray to the kingdom. We must eliminate any treats before they are there.”   
“You don’t get it, do you Father? They are mad and sad, and they hate us because you are killing innocent people. You don’t go out there and try and find every bandit that has ever lifted their swords against our people and here you are killing people for having something they don’t have control over. Innocent people who never hurt anyone. Please stop this madness.” The sound off a slapped echoed around the room. Arthur hand went up to his cheek.   
“You will give the order tomorrow, and if you don’t.” The threat was clear as day. Uther turned around and left the room. Arthur stood there for a while.  
The hours passed much to fast for Arthur. He had tried to see the little girl in the dungeon but wasn’t allowed past. He didn’t react when there was a knocked on his door, “Sire, may I come in please?” Arthur turned surprised to the door, since when did Merlin knocked on the door. “Come in.” He didn’t move from where he sat on the floor against his bed. Uther walked first into the room, followed by Merlin with two trays that looked like it may topple over at any moment.   
Merlin quickly put the trays on the table and then made his why out of the room.   
Arthur didn’t look up or moved to the table. “Come eat Arthur.” Uther’s voice didn’t show how he was feeling. Arthur wasn’t in the mood for a fight, so he did as his father told him to do. They sat in an awkward silence for almost a half an hour before Uther started to speak.   
“I though about what you said Arthur, and I am sorry, but the law is clear no sorcerers is allowed in Camelot. The fight against them would go on. One day you will understand that I am only trying to keep you safe and the people of Camelot as well.” Arthur looked down at his plate. He knows already that it doesn’t help to talk to Uther about this. Almost every time it just goes into a screaming match.   
“Off course father.” Arthur’s voices trailed off. Uther gave him a last glance and then left the room.   
It wasn’t five minutes and the door open again. Arthur was still sitting at the table playing with his food. “Arthur,” Merlin’s voice travelled off. “Tomorrow morning, I have to give the order to kill a girl.” Arthur’s voice could barely be heard.   
TBC


	3. Empire 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Merlin.  
> Please leave a review and tell me where you think there is room for improvement.

“I am sorry Arthur.” Merlin kept his voice steady. He felt his heart breaking for another person to die for something they can’t help. “I tried to talk to father but as always he just doesn’t listen. She was just trying to safe her goat. What is so bad about trying to do something good? I mean she didn’t harm anyone?” Arthur had sometime in his rant started to pace.   
“Arthur, leave it to me. She won’t die tomorrow morning; I promise you that.” Arthur stood to look at Merlin. “How do you want to do it?”   
Merlin gave him a tired smile. “Like I did every time before. Look tomorrow there is going to be a girl put to death, but she won’t be real, only a clown that will die.” Before Merlin could reacted was, he pulled into a bone crushing hug.   
“Thank you, for everything” Arthur could feel how Merlin was trying to support him, and he does realise they would need to have a talk about the fact that Merlin kept his magic secret. Not that he can blame him, anyone in their right mind would keep their magic secret.   
They stood there for a while. Arthur’s face was hidden against Merlin’s neck. “You need to get some sleep Sire. There is still a busy week waiting for us.” Merlin gently pushed himself away from Arthur and then started to get him ready for bed. When he was sure Arthur will not need him again for the night, he quickly blows out the candles in the room and leave.   
Merlin made his why to Gaius room. They sat together and ate dinner. While they ate, did Merlin inform him of going to the dungeon to help the girl escape with her parents if it is possible. Gaius just gave him his normally warnings to make sure that he would be safe.   
Merlin left the chambers soon after and started to make the long trek down to the dungeons, he made sure to stay near the alcoves where he can just duck into one if he sees someone approaching them. When he needs to distracted guars, well that just made him laugh. When all of this is set and done - well Arthur would need to make sure the guards get learned not to be so easily distracted all the times.   
He could easily hear where the girl is begin kept. His eyes flashed gold and the dungeon door open. Merlin went down on his knees when he was inside the cell. “Hey little one, no need to cry anymore.” He kept his voice down low as he helps the child up. “I know this is scary, but I need you to tell me where we would be able to find your mommy and daddy.” As he talks with her was his magic hard at work to make sure the perfect double ganger would be ready for tomorrow.   
When the double lay on the straw, helped he the girl to her feet, and they started to make there why out of the room. A few twists and turns later and they were in the dragon layer. Merlin helped her to the far side of the cave where he pushed a rock out of the why. Under the cover of darkness, they made it to the girls’ house.   
Merlin explained everything to the parents who were delighted to see her. Merlin helped them to pack up their stuff and with a few whispers where they miles away from Camelot. Merlin left theme there with the orders to find the druid camp or a carnival going to another kingdom one where they would be accepted.  
Arthur turned and tossed for the better part of the night. When he finally drifted off was it in the early hours of the morning.   
TBC


	4. Empire 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Merlin.  
> Please leave a review and tell me where you think there is room for improvement.

A ‘rise and shine’ got Arthur to groggily open his eyes. He did not do the trouble to say anything. Merlin was busy at the windows to draw the curtains back. Arthur pushed himself up, he pulled his cover up to his chin. Merlin was going around the room while speaking to him, but Arthur did not really hear a word that was begin said. Merlin stop what he was doing and came over to the bed.   
“Arthur?” He tried to get his attention. Merlin went and sat next to him. “I know this is a stupid question but are you okay?” his voice was soft. Arthur could only shake his head. “I can’t go out there and kill a child Merlin. And I know I am defining Father at the moment, and there is this little voice in my head that tells me I am in the wrong, that I should do as he says, that it is the only why he would be proud of me.” Arthur trailed off.   
“Arthur, listen, remember what I told you yesterday. That I would make sure she is safe and sound. She and her parents are already on there why out of here, I made sure off it. The child you are going to kill is nothing more than a double ganger. She would do the same as the little girl, but she will not feel a thing. You won’t kill a real person.” Merlin tried to calm him down.   
“I know you don’t want to eat, but you need to. After that I will help you get dressed.” Merlin got op to get Arthur’s plate for him. Arthur pulled a slight face but ate some of the fruit, he knew he would not be able to get out of eating with Merlin around.   
Arthur made sure to turn his body away from Merlin sight when he got out bed. He knew rationally that it is not needed, that Merlin had already seen the wounds and bruises on him, but he still felt the need to try and hide it. Merlin gave a sigh and went to pick Arthur’s clothes for the day. Merlin gave a quick inspection of the open wounds on the back to make sure they were not getting infected before he started to dress Arthur.   
Arthur silently made his why to the balcony where he can see his father already waiting for him. He hopes he do not have to do the speech his father loves so much to give. Uther ignores his son for the moment when he stands up to give his speech against sorcery. He beckons Arthur to come closer. His one hand clasp over Arthur’s wrist, it was out of view from anyone to see.   
Arthur lift his eyes to look at the executioner and made the motion to start. He could feel the urge to turn around and run back in. The smell of flesh burning was already in the air making him feel sick. Uther made sure that he watches the whole thing through. When he finally could leave was, he out of there as soon as possible.   
Arthur falls with a groan onto his bed, he could feel the urge to go out and practice – not that it would be wise to do so. He also had to start to get ready for the hunt the next day. He still felt the nausea from outside.   
TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.  
> Please leave a review and tell me where you think there is room for improvement.

Arthur was still laying on his bed when the door suddenly open, he could feel himself tens up. Arthur pushed himself upright. Without looking up he just say a quit greeting. His breathing slightly sped up when Uther got closer to him.   
He pushed himself away from his bed and started to slightly back away from his father. He knew it would not do anything to stop him, but it gave him a sense of he tried. Not that he really wants to do this anymore. He knows they never had a good relationship, and there were chronicle fights but never like this. Sometimes he wondered if Uther really cared about him, but these days it just feels like he hates him.   
“You did good today, although you could have looked like you wanted to be there.” Uther’s voice was angry. Arthur could feel how his breathing was starting to pick up speed and the cold sensation of fingers going up and down his spine. Arthur did not do the trouble to answer his father, he was not complete sure if there was an answer needed.   
“Tomorrow you would make sure to level and druid camps you find on your why there. I do not want to hear any excuse’s on why it was not done. Guard Alexander would be going with you, is that understood?” Uther grabbed his son’s wrist again, pressing down slightly. Arthur could not find his voice and could only nodded.  
Uther was barley out of the room when Arthur hurried down to the counsel room. He went over to the map that they used to plan strategies. His breathing was heavy. It looked like the map was still in the same why he left it when he and the other knights was busy doing planning. Arthur could not but help to have a bad feeling. Why was Uther so sure that there would be more Druid camps?   
Arthur gave a groan and went to the Armoury. He knows it is a stupid idea to practice now, but he just can not sit down and do anything else anymore. He needs a change to try and clear his head. Some of the other knights were already on the training field, going trough a few practice forms. This was not one of there usually training days, but he was glad to see that they still practice without him watching them the whole time.  
Arthur called for Sir Leon to come and spar against him after warming up. He could feel his body resisting this type of training. His back felt like it was on fire. After two hours of sparring against the knights did Arthur called it a quit. He knows they all should be getting ready for the next day.   
After getting back to his room, was he rewarded with his sister’s voice. A groan was pulled from him when Morgana just walked into the room. “What do you want?” Arthur felt a little bit bad about how he sounded but the last thing he needed now was his sister harping on him about tomorrow.  
Morgana looked at her brother, and for the first time she realised that Merlin was right. Arthur would not be able to put up with more of this for a long time. The bags under his eyes were almost completely black. He had lost a lot of weight since the battle. Morgana steeled herself though. “Can’t I come and check in on my favourite brother?”   
Arthur gave her a dark look. “I am your only brother.” “That you are, and I can see that the recent events are hurting you Arthur.” Before Morgana could change her mind was, she next to Arthur and gave him a quick hug. “Don’t worry things would work out.”   
TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.  
> Please leave a review and tell me where you think there is room for improvement.

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.  
Please leave a review and tell me where you think there is room for improvement.  
Arthur froze when he felt the hug. Morgana did not say anything further after she pulled away and left the room. His body felt like lead when he forced himself to move again.   
Arthur started to remove the amour he wore for training. He tried to steady his breathing as he felt his heart rate soothing up. Merlin already put the amour he would wear tomorrow ready, but Arthur still like to look to make sure everything was ready. He knew sometimes Merlin would tease him about begin nervous and he always said he was not. But truth be told the only reason he did not normally felt nervous was because he would go through the armour he would wear, make sure everything was one hundred presents. And it helps to calm him if he also polished it.   
Slowly he started to fall into the calming rhythm of polishing and examine. Merlin found him sitting cross legged on the floor a few hours later when he bough up his dinner. They did not say anything to each other as Merlin went to sit next to him.   
Arthur felt for the first time in days truly calm, he was not sure what the next day would bring but he was sure that Merlin would be there to help him if anything happened. Merlin started to put the already check armour back onto the table. After wards he pulled Arthur to his feet and made him sit down at the table with his plate in front of him. After took a few bites here and there before pushing the plate away. Merlin simply pushed it back to him with a look in his eyes telling Arthur that he would eat.   
“I will force feed you if you don’t eat by yourself. I know you are not in the mood to eat but you need the strength for tomorrow. You know it is a long ride.” Merlin’s voice was stern. Arthur cast his eyes down and started to try and eat.   
He managed to eat half of the food before pushing it away again. “No more.” His voice was quiet. Merlin did not say anything but went and started to get a bath ready for Arthur. “I saw you training today. How is your back?” Merlin’s voices slightly drifted through the room.   
“Sore. Just please do not lecture me on the fact that I trained today, I know I should not have but I needed to get my head clear.” Arthur hated how tired and run down he sounded. Merlin made his way back into the chamber, he kneeled before Arthur taking his hand and slowly stroking his wrist with his thumb.  
“I know this is not easy for you Arthur and I know you do not understand why your father is like he is now. But we will figure it out.” Merlin’s voice was soothing. “Come. Time for a bath and bed.”   
TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoy the story so far. :)


	7. Empire 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.  
> Please leave a review and tell me where you think there is room for improvement.

Merlin was busy to get Arthur ready for bed when he felt the fingers around his wrist. He turns to look at Arthur who was looking down. He waited silently for Arthur to gather his words.   
“Would…” Arthur’s voice trailed off; he did not know how to say he wants Merlin to stay with him. Merlin looked at him curiously. “Would you stay until I am asleep?” His voices were tingled with shame. Arthur could feel the tiredness settle over him. Merlin could see how Arthur was slowly falling to the darkness. “Of course, Arthur.” Merlin’s voice was soft and like a balm to blistered skin.   
Arthur basically fell into his bed; he pulled the blankets over his head. Merlin smiled slightly at the sight and then gently pushed it down until Arthur’s face was back out. Merlin sat down next to him, he felt unsure for the first few seconds before he started to gently stroking Arthur’s hair. The silence was peace full between them.   
Merlin did not say anything, just softly humming a lullaby. After a few minutes Arthur’s breath started to even out. Merlin sat with him for about half an hour before slowly getting up and going to the servant’s charter in the chamber. He kept the door open in case Arthur called for him.  
Sometime in the early morning hours was Merlin woken up by the sound of sobbing. A quick glance outside showed him it is still a few hours to go before dawn. He quickly put on his clothes and made his why over to Arthur.   
The prince’s face was pushed into his pillow as he tried to keep the sobbing down. Merlin crouch down next to Arthur. “Arthur.” Merlin made sure to keep his voice’s soft. Arthur did not respond for a few seconds before he slowly turned to face Merlin. His face was a sickly pail colour. When Merlin put his hand against forehead was there just a soft curse word before he run to get Gaius.   
Merlin burst into the room, “Gaius, Arthur, fever.” Merlin panted out. Gaius gave him a glare for giving him a fright with how he burst into the room. “Go and get cold water and a rag, I am on my why.” His voice did not show stress or worry. Merlin left the room to go and gather the supplies he would need.   
Merlin felt like cursing a storm up, he was worried that one of the wounds would get infected, but when he cleaned it today it did not look like they were infected. Or maybe Arthur did not tell him about another injury somewhere he did not see. Merlin got back to Arthur before Gaius, he immediately dipped the rag into the cold water and started to press it against Arthurs face.   
Arthur gave a groan of appreciation when he feels the cold against his fevered face. But immediately he also started to try and get away, he did not feel like he had a right to this care.   
“I know you do not want this, but we need to get your fever down.” His voice was soothing to Arthur who started to settle again when he realised, he will not be able to get away from Merlin. A few minutes later Gaius came into the room. He shooed Merlin away so that he could check on Arthur.   
He worked a few seconds in silence when he saw the bandages, he looked up sharply at Merlin, waiting for an answer. “He went to practice today. I clean them and put salve on them to make sure there would not be an infection.” His voice was quiet. “Sit him up for me. And then take off his shirt and the bandage.” Merlin immediately did what Gaius wanted him to do. Gaius help to make sure Arthur was able to sit upright. There was a glassy look in his eyes.   
When Gaius moved behind him, he started to struggle. Merlin moved to sit in front of him pulling him down so that he could rest against Merlin.  
TBC


	8. Empire 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.  
> Please leave a review and tell me where you think there is room for improvement.

Merlin tried to keep Arthur calm while Gaius work on his wounds. He pushed weakly against Merlin who just adjusted his grip and started to hum to him. Gaius worked fast, there was no need to worry about an infection from these wounds. When Gaius got to a deep lashing, Arthur turned his head into Merlin’s neck while begging them to stop.   
Merlin just keep on humming to him, while holding him. When Gaius was finished Merlin helped Arthur back to lay down. Gaius asked Arthur a few more questions about how he was feeling, but the prince did not really respond. Gaius gave him a few potions he needs to drink. “If his fever is not down by morning, we will need to give him a cold bath.” Gaius voice was tired. Anyone with two eyes could see that Arthur was not copying anymore.   
“I will inform the King off your illness Sire. Call me if the fever gets worse Merlin.” Before either of them could respond was he out of the room.   
Merlin helped Arthur to drink some water and then gently started to try and cool him down with the rag over his face and neck.   
It was not even three hours later when Gaius was back in the room. Arthur had started to cough as well. With a fever climbing slowly as well. Gaius order Merlin to go and fetch cold water to bath Arthur in.   
It took both a few minutes and a fight on hand to get him into the cold water. Arthur straight up refuse to work with them. He only wanted to get back into his bed and sleep and never have to wake up.   
When they finally got Arthur into the water was it a fight to keep him there. He tried to scramble out of the bath. Merlin started to make soothing motions with his fingers on Arthur’s shoulders slightly calming him down. Slowly the fight left him when he realised, he will not be able to get out of the bath.   
They have just got him back into the bed when Uther burst into the room. Arthur still not there with them immediately fall off the bed to try and get away. The only thing stopping him was Merlin who stand behind them. Uther walked closer to his son who was curled up against Merlin.   
Merlin felt his magic slowly bubbling up in him, trying to keep him safe. Merlin looked at Gaius, a silent conversation between them. Merlin realized that he did not hear a word Uther said.   
Merlin helped Arthur backed into the bed before giving him some water to drink. He sat next to him gently carding his fingers trough Arthur’s hair. He watches as his breathing starting to deepen. When he was sure Arthur was asleep, he left the room to go and find Gaius.   
It did not take Merlin long to find him, Merlin sat at the table while Gaius made breakfast. “There is a strong magical present around Uther.” His voice was quiet. A lot of things started to make more senses now than it did before. Why he was suddenly so much harder on Arthur.   
TBC


	9. Empire 9

Merlin sat silently for a few minutes, chewing over what Gaius said. “We will need to figure out where the magic is coming from.” Gaius words were fought full. “We can always try and see where the enchantment comes from while he is sleeping.” Merlin voiced. It was a little bit risky to openly cast magic near the king. More so that he might be aware of the magic begin cast.  
“We will not have much of a choice now Merlin. If things continue like this for longer, Arthur will crack.” Merlin knows how much of a truth that was. “We will be waiting for evening then, maybe we can sneak a sleeping potion into his drink at dinner, might make this easier.” Merlin suggested.   
Gaius was silent for a moment. “I will try and be around him today, might make it easier to give him something to sleep. Uther does not look well himself, so we might be able to do something with it.” Both off the ate their food without a word more between them. They had an idea of what they can do, now it is to do it and hope for the best.   
After breakfast Merlin made his why back to Arthur’s chambers. He silently slipped into the room. His eyes soften a little bit when he saw Arthur fast asleep. Merlin gave a little sigh and went to get breakfast for Arthur. Hopefully, the kitchen would have something simple for him to eat.   
Merlin walked over to Audrey in the kitchen. They had a weird friendship if one could call it that. “The prince is ill; do you maybe have a broth I can take up for him please?” Merlin kept his voice low so that the rest of the servant’s do not hear what he was saying. There is enough gossip going around now about the royal family.   
Audrey gave him a nod and then went and dish up the broth as well as a honey mead mixture she made for her children if they get sick. Merlin gave her a friendly smile when he left the kitchen.   
When he finally got back to Arthur’s chambers, was Arthur starting to wake up. Merlin felt that small tug at his heart strings again when he saw him. He knew it was improper to love the prince the why he did, but he would be happy to see the prince happy even if it is with someone else.   
Arthur gave a pained groan and pull the covers back over his head. His mouth felt dry, and everything felt to tight on his body. He did not like this one bit. Merlin put the tray on the bed and then started to pull the covers back. Arthur gave a slight whine when the sun light came into his eyes.   
Merlin soothed his hair back slightly. They did not say anything. Merlin helped Arthur to sit up. When Arthur saw the food, he immediately pushed it away. Merlin gave him a slight glare. “I know you do not want to eat, but you need to get your strength up.” Merlin gave a little sign when Arthur pushed the food away again. “Just a little bit Arthur, 10 spoons, just 10 spoons.” Merlin knew he will have to push this. He needs to give Arthur potions again, and it will only make him more ill if he gets it on an empty stomach.  
Arthur gave him a pitiful glare. But he started to eat slowly. He felt a blush starting to form when Merlin gave him praise for eating. Arthur pushed the bowl away when he was about half-why trough. Merin gave him a smile making Arthur’s bleak world slightly better.   
The silence was comfortable between them. Arthur felt like he forgot something important but now that was not important. His hands shake slightly when Merlin handed him the mead, he focused on making sure he did not spill it everywhere. Merlin wraps his hands around Arthur, helping him to keep steady. He did not drink much off the mead when he pushed it away as well.   
When Merlin went to picked up the potions Gaius left for the day, was there a groan from the bed and a slight shuffling as Arthur tried to pull the blankets back up. Merlin can agree with him there, these potions for the most part was not drink able.   
With gently coaching he got Arthur to drink it and then he gave him some water to drink. “Go back to sleep.” Merlin said softly when Arthur has lay back down again. Arthurs hand was around Merlin’s wrist. “Stay?” His voice was croaked. Merlin just gave him a soft smile and sat down next to him. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the story sort of jump off the line I wanted to follow. Please leave a review and a kudo.


	10. Chapter 10

Merlin busied himself with chores in Arthur’s chambers. Just before it was time to get lunch was Arthur starting to wake up again. He looked a little bit better than he did through the night.

He was quite as Arthur started to get his bearings. His eyes were sleep filled, and his face still slightly mused from the pillow. Merlin made his why to the bed. When he got close to the bed, Arthur made a grasp at his arm, trying to get closer to Merlin.

Merlin’s heart gave a little twist, he knew he had to squish his feelings down, that nothing could ever happen between them, even if he sometimes catches the glances Arthur send his why. Arthur would one day more than likely one of these days must marry a princess from another land to strengthen the alliance between kingdoms.

Merlin remember the talked about it. He knew deep down to do that will slowly kill Arthur. He could only hope that it is still far enough away that Arthur would have a change to recover from this.

Arthur had pulled Merlin onto the bed and was now trying to curl up against him. Just for a moment he felt safe and loved. Arthur gave a sign when Merlin started to run his fingers lightly trough Arthur’s hair. They sat there in a comfortable silence.

Just before Arthur could started to doze again, Merlin gently pushed him off him. Arthur made a whiny sound and looked slightly hurt. Merlin just shushed him and stood up to get his lunch. Audrey made sure there was a potato stew and another tankard with the honey mead she made in the morning. Merlin gave her his best sunny smile in thanks, he knows he irritates her more than anything if he comes into the kitchen when he should not. But at the end they both care about the prince and she loves to spoil him when she gets the change.

When Merlin got back to Arthur's chamber was Arthur sitting at the table. His face was almost as red as the shirt he putted on. He did not say a word when Merlin put the food in front of him except for making a face.

Arthur realized he should eat but the fact that he almost had no appetite made that on a good day difficult these days. On bad days he just plays with the food, not that Merlin allows it.

Arthur had realized a while back that something was wrong with him, something was making him feels not like himself. And he knows that Merlin had notice and was trying his best to make sure he gets trough the day. Even if he must be pulled from bed. Arthur saw the look Merlin was giving him and started to eat.

Arthur eat while Merlin sat on the floor cleaning his amour. Arthur went pail when he realized what he forgot this morning, the raid that was begin launched against the druids. Merlin looked up when he heard the chair begin pushed back as Arthur stood.

Arthur made his why to the door, he was not sure what he wanted to do, the only thing in his head was to go and apologize to his father for not begin there. Arthur stop dead at the door, realizing he do not want to go out and face his father. He jumped when Merlin put a hand on his shoulder and lead him back to the table. “Gaius took care of the king; relax you are not in trouble.” Merlin made sure to keep his voice soothing. Merlin gently pressed him back into the chair.

Arthur just looked at him a little bit lost. He was not sure what to say. He felt glad that he did not had to go out there and face his father. A shiver runs down his back. “Merlin…” Arthur quiet down. He was not sure what he wanted to say or asked. Merlin just waited patiently for him to gather his bearings.

After a few minutes Merlin stood up to go and get the potions Arthur needed to drink. He wordlessly gave them to Arthur, who drank it without complaint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a kudo and review. Also on tumblr @lover-of-midnight


	11. Chapter 11

Arthur did not bother to say anything else. He felt tired of everything, he grimaced a little bit when the mead was pushed to him. He knows he should be grateful for every little bit of care he gets but he could not help but feels like it is only fake. That they do not really care about him as a friend. A part of him whispers that they care that he did not need to feel like this but there is a louder part screaming at him to push them away. That they would only hurt him. 

Arthur followed Merlin movement with his eyes. Merlin was talking about something; it did not seem as if he expects to be answered or talked back to. Arthur gave a slight sigh and try to relax. He knows he should try and get some work done but the thought of working makes him just feel miserable now. He stood back up. The tankard was finished, Arthur made a slight startled face. He did not remember drinking it.   
Without saying anything Arthur made his why back to his bed. A groan fell from his mouth when he got back in bed. There was a silence in the chamber that felt oppressive. Arthur pushed his face into his pillow, trying to block out his own thoughts. He knows that it is not really a why to do that, but he felt miserable enough to try. 

He jumped a little bit when Merlin suddenly sat down next to him, gently combing his fingers trough Arthur’s hair. Arthur melted into the gently touched. Arthur was not sure where the words come from next, he uttered into the pillow. “I do not want to do this anymore Merlin.” His voice was broken and tired. Merlin’s hand stilled and a whine left his throat. 

Merlin realised he missed something gently started to stroke his hair again. “What is it you do not want to do Sire?” He made sure to keep his voice low. Arthur tried to gather the words he needs to try and explain how he felt. 

“I don’t want to be a prince.” Arthur gave a slight grumble at the words he just said. And he realized it was true, he was tired of fighting for people, tired of the pointless killings, tired of trying to be the voice of reason in the council room. Tired of beginning talked to as if he does not know anything. Tired of turning the blind eye for the peoples suffering. 

Merlin did not say anything, just waiting for Arthur to talk to him. “I’m tired Merlin. No matter how hard I try, I just set myself up for failure.” Arthur's voice broke, he felt the hot tears in eyes and started to blink to try and get it out of the why, that no one can see it. When Merlin moved. He could not help it, the tears started. He was startled to be pulled into an embrace. Merlin did not hush him or told him everything would be okay. He holds him, gently rocking him, calming him in a why he did not utterly understand.

“I sometimes wise I can just leave, I know I don’t have the same skills as the peasants, but I could learn, just have a simple life. No one to be mad if we disagree, no beatings for having to go against orders.” His words rushed out of him in a why it never did before. His hand flex against Merlin’s shirt. 

Merlin tried to gather his own thoughts. He knows he should act carefully with what he is going to say. “You would be a wonderful King, Arthur. You would be the reason why there is going to be peace in your kingdom. The people already love you and they are on your side even if there is nothing they can do about Uther; just know this they are on your side. They heard about the why you stood up against your father, they saw the why you were down casted when you can not get him to change his mind. And they are on your side, they already love you for the simple fact that you care Arthur. You go out of your why to help them and they know that.” Merlin tried to keep his voice low and soothing, but there was a clear passion in them for Arthur.

Arthur slowly sat up right, his hand was still holding Merlin’s shirt, his icy blue eyes hold a darkness to them, that made Merlin’s heart clench in pain. “Why can’t I just do what makes father happy, then there would be no more pain?” His voice clearly showed how distressed he was feeling. 

Merlin took a deep breath, he was not sure how to tell Arthur his father was under an enchantment, an enchantment he was not sure how it worked. Hopefully, this evening they would get clarity when Uther was fast asleep. Before he had a change to speak, was Arthur speaking again, “I sometimes get this desire to kill him, but another part of me, can’t, gets upset since he is my father and I should not wish death on him, but everything would be so much easier if he is dead.” Arthur’s hands went up to his face where he was tugging his hair. The conflict he was feeling was starting to drown him again. It helped to talk a little bit about how he feels but it is not doing much.

Merlin gently pulled Arthur’s hands away from his head. He took a deep breath and braze him for the reaction he would get. “Arthur, your father has a strong enchantment on him. We noticed it last night when he came in here. We will figure this out, I promise you.” Merlin looked Arthur into the eyes as he says this, he knows he needs to show him he is speaking the truth.   
A range of emotions went over Arthur’s face. He looked relieved and then deeply sadden. Merlin did not speak again just waiting for Arthur to gather his thoughts. Merlin just had a few seconds to get him slightly out of bed to barf onto the floor. His body was shaking, and tears leak out silently. 

Merlin just gently hold him up as his body shook, he do not know what he is going to do, when he felt movement and begin pulled back up against Merlin’s chest, he listens to the quiet words as Merlin gently whisper in his ear that everything would work out. That they would figure this out. Arthur’s eyes flutter close, the beating of Merlin’s heart lulling him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and a kudo. :) Also on tumblr @lover-of-midnight  
> Would really like to hear what you guys and girls think of the story.


	12. Chapter 12

Merlin gently moved Arthur to properly lay down. He gently cradled his fingers a last time trough his hair. Merlin gave a quiet sigh and went to get the bucket and cloth to clean up. When he was finished with cleaning up, he then made sure Arthur had water on the table next to him. 

Merlin gave a quick glance over the room and then made his why out of the chamber. He first went to search for Gaius, seeing him with the king, Merlin turned around, he had hoped to get something to help Arthur to keep calm. Realising that Morgana was not next to Arthur as she usually is, he made his why over to her chamber. Before he could knock, he heard the gently voices of Morgana and Gwen as they talked to each other. He felt slightly bad for interrupting. 

He gave a hard knocked against the door, almost immediately there was an enter from Morgana. Merlin pushed the door open. “Lady Morgana, Gwen.” He gave them a friendly greeting. Both women can see that he was worried about something. “Merlin, I was just wondering how it is going with Arthur?” Morgana’s voice was soft as if she were afraid that someone would be able to overhear them. 

“That is why I am here my Lady, there was some news giving to him today and he did not take it very well. I was wondering if you would dine with him tonight and maybe stay for a little while please?” Merlin gave her a pleading look. He knows she is curious but, in the end, she would try and help anyone she can. 

Morgana gave him a searching look. “Off course I would dine with him. I take there is something you then need to do tonight?” “Yes, my Lady.” Merlin’s voice trailed off. He did not want to say too much.   
Morgana gave him a slight nod, Merlin gave both women a nod and turned around to leave, but just before he reaches the door was Morgana’s voice. “Make sure he is properly asleep tonight, otherwise it would be all for naught.” Merlin gave her a nod again and then left the room. Merlin slowly made his why back to Gaius chamber. 

He silently made his why to his room where he keeps his magic book. A quick search shows him the spell to put someone to a deep sleep. He would have to check with Gaius if it would have a reaction with the potion, but he believes that it will not be a problem. 

He practices the words for a few minutes, feeling his magic building inside of him. Merlin always loved to feel his magic flowing through him. He loved the feeling of the magic flowing trough him, lapping against his fingers to get out, but understanding that it could not yet freely at least. 

It was about an hour before Gaius was back in the room, he looked startled to see Merlin there. “Morgana told me we had to make sure he is properly asleep if we want to do it.” Merlin looked at Gaius quietly. He knows his mentor has a lot of tricks up his sleeve. “I had told the king I would give him a sleeping potion for tonight, but I have to brew it first. He told me he had trouble sleeping these days, that he felt to angry to rest properly.” Gaius gave Merlin the run down of what he saw. 

“Would it be possible to put him to sleep with magic as well as the potion? Just to make sure he is in a deep enough sleep?” Gaius stood still for a moment thinking about it before he gave a nod. “I believe he would be simply fine.” Merlin gave a slight happy grin at that. He grabbed a loaf of bread out of the cabin and made his way back to Arthur’s chamber, he had already organised that George would serve the prince dinner tonight.

Merlin slowly pushed the door open, Arthur was still in bed, but Merlin could not tell whether he was awake or asleep now. So, he slowly opens the door if he is asleep then at least he will not bother him.   
Arthur open his eyes when he realised there is someone in his room. He slowly let the air back out of his lungs trying to figure out who it is. When he saw Merlin, he gave a relieved sigh and relaxed back into the bed. He kept his eyes trained on Merlin who was walking over to him. Merlin gave him a friendly smile. 

Arthur lazy reach out to Merlin. His body still did not feel like his own, but he could feel the potions started to do there work in healing him. Merlin gently felt his head. There was a slight frown, but Merlin did not say anything about the fever again. 

“Morgana is dinning to night with you. And you are not going to argue against it.” Merlin made sure to keep his voice soft on the last end. He knows Arthur hates to be ordered around. Arthur looked at Merlin with a frown. He did not feel like putting on a mask and made small talk with his sister. 

Merlin looked down at him. “I know you do not want to entertain, and you absolutely do not have to. She is just here to keep an eye on you. I have some stuff I need to do tonight, and I do not want to leave you alone.” Merlin gave his hand a soft squeeze. 

Arthurs frown deepen when he realised it sounded like he might do something. “I do not need to be babysit.” Arthurs voice was rough. Merlin looked at him again, before he sat down next to Arthur on the bed. He pulled Arthur against him. Immediately Arthur sagged against him. “You do not need a babysitter Arthur, but you heard news today that upset you badly and you are sick as well. I just want someone with you while I can not be here.” 

Arthur did not say anything future about the matter, so Merlin took it as a slight victory. “Why don’t I get a bath ready for you, and then put some clean bandages on your back?” Merlin’s voice was soft. Arthur gave a nod. He sat back upright so that Merlin can move out behind him. 

Arthur was left deep in thought as Merlin worked on getting the bath ready. Arthur pushed himself away from the bed. He hated how he felt now. He slowly made his why over to the mirror in his room. He carefully pulled his shirt over his head and then started to undo the bandages. 

His stomach and chest were a canvas off healing bruises now a deep and ugly blue and black, he turned around too see the damages on his back. He felt the horror slowly clawing up in him. His back was irreparably damaged. Arthur looked at the marks going up and down and across his back. 

Arthur could vaguely hear Merlin coming over to him. Merlin gently turned his face to look at him instead of the mirror.

“H-how could he?” Arthur’s voice was deeply pained. For the most part Gaius salves and potions kept him from thinking about the damaged that was caused. But now seeing it gave Arthur an incredible rage. He wants to take his sword and kill his father. Merlin stayed quiet on the question; he knows no matter what he says nothing would be able to sooth Arthur now. 

Arthur’s whole body was violently shaking. “How could he?” Arthur was looking at the ground. Merlin felt unsure on how to respond to his friend. Merlin pulled Arthur down onto the floor, walking now is just a bad idea. He might grab his sword and try to kill his father.

Arthur’s arms found there why around Merlin’s waist, he pressed his nose against Merlin’s neck and tried to focus on Merlin. He felt safe with Merlin, his smell was earthy, like the forest after rain. His hands twitch against Merlin waist but he made sure not to grip to hard. Merlin just hold him, he did not try to explain away his father’s actions, al though he supposed he did have an excuse with the whole enchantment thing Merlin told him about. 

Slowly his breathing started to even out, his heart rate return to normal. He felt the flush that crept up his face when he pulled away. Shame was busy to make itself known. But Merlin did not allow him to have a change to say anything else. He pulled Arthur gently up from the floor, a quick spell was said, and the water started to steam again. 

Arthur undress and then got into the water. He felt the warm water making his muscles into a puddle of goo. Merlin was walking around him with a pot so that they could wash his hair before he would start with the rest of his body.

The bath went faster than Arthur would have like. Before either of them knowing it, it was starting to get dark. Arthur was dressed again, new salve on the wounds and Merlin gave him a death glare to make sure he drank the potions he needs to drink. Well before he could drink them, he was forced to eat a small bread. 

Merlin made sure he was fine before leaving the room. Arthur gave a sigh and went to get his playing cards. Hopefully, Morgana would be up for just playing a few games instead of talking too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight


	13. Chapter 13

Arthur went to sit down, he putted the cards in front of him, he shuffled them and then started to pack them out in front of him. He silently matches the pairs to each other when there was a knock on his door. Before he even had a change to say enter, well Morgana made her why into the room. 

He gave his sister a slight glare but stood up to greet her. The silence around them was uncomfortable at best. Morgana went and sat down next to him. She looks at the game he was amusing himself with and gave him a slight smile.

“How are you copying?” Morgana’s voice was soft and sweet. Arthur looked at her silently. Anyone with two eyes could see he was trying to decide if he should lie or tell the truth. But after a second his shoulders relax, and he looked down. “True fully, I could be doing better.” He looked up after a second. He did not wish to tell her what is going trough his mind. Before Morgana had a change to answer, Arthur pushed the cards to her, the question clear in his eyes. Morgana picked up the cards and started to shuffle them. 

They played in silence – expected for laughter coming from one of them – until dinner come.

Merlin hurriedly made his why to Gaius chamber, he knows there is no need to be in a hurry but the faster they can get this over with the better. Gaius was busy making dinner when Merlin came into the room. There was a small potion bottle standing on the table. Merlin could not help but wrinkle his face at the sight of the black potion, it looked absolute disgusting. 

Gaius gave him a smile at the look. “It is relative potent, so hopefully it would give you the change to work your… Well you know what I mean.” Gaius voice was quiet. It was too dangerous to even say the word magic at the time. He made sure the potion would put the king out in a few seconds flat. 

“Sit down, that we can eat. You will take the vial to the king after we finished dinner.” Merlin immediately made his why over to sit down. He did not have enough time these days to eat properly.  
It was starting to get later in the evening. They silently ate the gruel that Gaius had made, well Merlin tried to inhale his. “How was Arthur today?” Gaius asked between bites. “Fever is down, but not enough. Mad, he is so mad Gaius.” Merlin’s voice trailed off. He had a hard time to try and explain how the prince had looked like when he saw his back. 

Gaius looked at Merlin, slightly lifting his brow. “Why was the prince mad?” “He saw his back Gaius, bloody hell, he looked as if he could take his sword and go…” Merlin rather not finished the words. Both fell into silence. When dinner was finished, Gaius pushed the vial into Merlin’s hand. 

“Tell the king, to drink this when he goes to bed, he would fall asleep in seconds. Merlin please be careful.” Gaius words were soft but worried. They need to end whatever is going on as soon as possible before the whole of Camelot falls down the drain.

Merlin silently made his why to the Kings chamber. He knocked hard on the door. He hoped the king would go soon to bed. Merlin gave a sigh when he could enter the room and found that the king was busy to work on something at his table.

Merlin gave a bow, while looking down. “Sire, Gaius said that Sire should drink this when Sire is in the bed, apparently it would be only a few seconds before Sire would be out.” Merlin put the vial on the table and swiftly made his why back out. He could feel his heart trying to break out of his ribcage. 

Merlin made his way into an alcove. From where he is positioned, he can see George coming back to the chamber, he watches George leaves a half an hour later. Merlin took a deep breath. He made his why back over to the chamber and slowly pushed the door open. Uther was already in bed; Merlin gave a quick chant to form the sleeping spell. His eyes flashed gold. 

He crept into the room, he could clearly see the pendant around the Kings neck, the pulse of evil magic making Merlin almost hiss. He crept slowly closer to the bed; his fingers reach out to pull the pendant off.   
He grabbed the pendant and gave a hard pull; the chain broke away. Merlin watches as the king turned around, the potion and spell keeping him under. Merlin started to chant again while he moves his hand to Uther’s head. The healing magic started to sweep into him. 

Merlin stood tall, there was a dark look in his eyes. He wished he could have protected Arthur better. But he knows now is not the time for revenges. And it is not his to take. For this would be between Arthur and the King.

Merlin turned around and made his why back to Gaius. The pendant would be destroyed as soon as possible. He was silent on his why to Gaius.   
He looked at the pendant, there was a slight frown to his face, the magic felt familiar as if he saw it before, but for some reason he can not place it. A sigh made its why past his lips. They can figure that out another time. 

He put his strength into crushing the pendant, he watches in aww as it crumbles to dust before his eyes. No one would ever again have a change to hurt Arthur, he promised himself. He would personally kill them all. Before he realised it was, he back in front of Gaius room, he pushed the door open, popping his head trough.

“It is done, but you should maybe just check on the king. I used some healing magic on his mind to try and sooth the roughed edges.” Merlin’s voice was quiet. He walked deeper in the room. He wished he can just fall into bed, but he knows he still must make his way back to Arthur’s chambers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight


	14. Chapter 14

Gaius did not say anything. Merlin gave him a tight smile. The darkness was still going around in his eyes. “What’s bother you?” Gaius voice had a slight worry to it. Merlin felt slightly bad for making him worry, he knows Gaius has enough to worry about, without him adding to it.

Merlin made his why over to the chair Gaius has pointed at. He looked at the table slightly. “I wanted to kill him. It would have been so easy. Not just for Arthur but for all the damaged he had done. If he did not decide three weeks ago that it would be necessary for war, this would have never happened. And the worst off all. I know Arthur had fought him against his decision. If he had just listened, then two weeks ago would not have happened. So many innocent lives were lost, and for what? Because one person. One person did not want to listen.” Merlin stopped to take a breath. There was so much he wanted to say, but it would not help. 

“Merlin, unfortunately we can not change the past. It has passed. We can only try and rebuild from the rubble we have now. The only thing we can do is learn from the mistakes from the past.” Gaius words where gently. He gently rubbed Merlin’s shoulder. 

They both know it would take years to even try and heal from the damaged that was done. 

“I just feel so helpless Gaius. Arthur is a wreck. He does not want to eat, or drink. It is as if he is giving up. And there is nothing I can do to make it better for him.” Merlin’s voice croaked on the last word. A silent tear made it is why down his cheek. A quick hand motion cleared his face. 

“Hopefully, we could go further in relative peace Merlin. Are you sleeping here or in Arthurs chamber?” Gaius asked quietly. Merlin could not see the sadness in the old man eyes. He loved Arthur like he is his own son. Since the prince came to him, to hide from his tutors, hiding between his books and asking questions about medicine and the human body. Asking for advice if he felt unsure about something.

But around of the age of 13 that had suddenly changed. The prince was forced into more lessons and training sessions. He quickly showed that he would be a great knight and he work trough the ranks faster than anyone. 

Gaius shook his head quickly; this was not the time to remises about the past. He barley heard Merlin said he was going to stay with Arthur. A quick goodbye and Merlin were gone.

Arthur and Morgana ate their food in silence. Arthur just had a feeling that after dinner, he would be forced to speak to her. He pushed the egg around the plate. He could feel Morgana eyes on him, watching him. He pushed his fork in, breaking the egg watching the yolk running onto the plate.

He wished he could eat like he normally could, well at least enjoy the food, now everything just tastes the same, everything is blank, no season or spice even if he knows for a fact that there is spices in the food.   
After a few seconds he pushed the plate away from himself. Morgana pushed the plate back to him. “Eat.” Her voice holds a command to it, so different from Merlin. Arthur started to push the food around again. “If you do not start to eat on your own, then I will feed you Arthur.” He paused at the tone. He knows she is serious. 

With a slight grown he started to eat his food. Morgana gave him a little smile when he pushed the plate away again about three quarters trough, 

They both were barely finished when George entered the chamber, cleaning up the table and then taking away the plates. Arthur had picked up a quill playing with it, to try and keep his nervous energy under control. 

“Arthur…” Morgana’s voice trailed off. He did not look up again. At one stage where they friends. They have played around the palace. “What happened Arthur? How did we end up as strangers?” Her voices were so quiet. And Arthur realised it is true. He stayed silent for a few seconds trying to gather his thoughts. He knows exactly when it happened.

“Just after my thirteen birthdays. Father wanted me to get more serious with my studies.” Now it was his turn to go quiet. He did not want to tell her that he was threatened with her harm if he did not listen. Ever since he just tried to do as he was told without going out right against the king. 

“And these days Arthur? We could make a mean team on the council.” She watched her brother as he took a deep breath. He was slightly pail. “W-we would ha-have never made a mean team. Father would have hurt you if I allowed something like that.” Arthur’s hand went back up to his face, he was surprised he could feel the wetness on his cheeks. He brushed the tears away. Now was not the time.

Morgana looked at him in horror. “What do you mean?” The slight venom in her voice was enough to clue Arthur into the fact that she was not just mad she was livid. He shrank slightly back from her. “Father. He threatened to hurt you if I did not listen to him.” Morgana could barley hear him so soft he said it. 

She made her why over to Arthur. She wanted to pull him into a hug and tell him that everything would be okay, but she just could not get her mouth to open and say the word. Instead she took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I am so sorry Arthur.” She felt nauseated by what she just heard. 

There was a gentle knocked against the door. When the enter left Arthurs, mouth was Merlin in the chamber. He did not comment on Morgana holding Arthur’s hand or the fact that it looks like Arthur was crying. He busied himself in the chamber, giving the siblings a change to collect themselves. 

Morgana pushed herself to her feet. “I should get back to my chambers.” Arthur pushed himself up, the least he could do is escort her back safely to her room. Morgana gently stopped him before he could get far. “Stay here. I would be fine.” Arthur gave her one of his normal looks that basically told her that she would not be leaving without someone to make sure she got there safe. “At least let one of the guards go with you.” Arthur said firmly as he made his why to his door. “Escort Lady Morgana back to her rooms please.” He asked one of the guards that was stationed near his room. 

Morgana gave him a smile, nodded at Merlin and then made her way out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uther sank back into the chair. This was a mess and he had no idea on how to go and fix anything with his son. “Will I gain my memory back?” “With time Sire, give it a week or so, maybe sooner.” Gaius waited to see if the king needed anything else. When a few minutes passed in silence Gaius said softly but firmly.

Merlin gave Arthur an enquiry looks, he looked sad. Arthur did not give any indication that he saw the looked. He was still playing with the quill. 

Merlin walked over to him. He knelt next to Arthur, gently taking his hand into his hand. Merlin rubbed soothing circles into his hand, just giving him the support, he needs. “Do you think I would be a better king Merlin?” Arthur’s voice was soft and unsure. Merlin’s hand stilled and Arthur thinking the worst started to pull his hand back when Merlin softly tighten his hand.

“I know for a fact that you would make a great king Arthur.” Merlin sounded so sure of it, that Arthur could not help but looked up, to see if he could detect a lie. Seeing that Arthur is still not believing him he got back up to his feet and pulled Arthur gently up. 

“Come, there is a legend that I have to tell you about, but first let’s get you back into bed.” Merlin’s voice was soft. Arthur gave him a curious look. Merlin quickly helped him to undress and then gently tucked him into bed. He sat at his normal place on the bed and his hand gently started to cradle his fingers through Arthur’s hair. Merlin felt him relax and he gave him a gentle smile.

“The druids have a legend that a once-and-future king will rise, to unit all of Albion. The once-and-future king is you Arthur.” Merlin’s voice was soft. There was a slide silence in the room. “How Merlin? I can’t even stand up against my own father. How will I be able to do anything?” The heart broken tone in Arthur’s voice break Merlin’s heart.

“Arthur, you stand up against him and the whole council, and you know what the price would be for that. And yet you did it, time and time again. You are the one who goes out there and interact with the normal people when you have time. You are the one who makes sure that your people are safe in the harsh winter. It is all you. Your father did nothing when half of the lower town was hurt in that dragon attacked. You stayed and helped even when you were injured. And if that does not show what sort of king you would be, then there is nothing.” Merlin spoke with so much that passion, that he was surprised when Arthur suddenly pulled him close. There was a wetness on his shoulder and Arthur’s shoulders were shaking with muted sobs.

“I’m scared Merlin.” The words were a quiet whimper against Merlin’s skin. “I know Arthur.” Merlin just hold him. Merlin knows there was still a long way to go. He holds Arthur until he fell asleep. He gently lowered Arthur back into bed, pulling the blanket up to his chin.

The next morning a servant run to Gaius door with breaking speed. Uther wanted the physician in his room immediately. Gaius grabbed his back he kept ready and made his way to the king’s chamber quickly.  
He was surprised to see the King already on his feet. He thought the potion would have kept him under for at least another two to three hours. “My lord?” Gaius said with a slight bow. 

Uther turned around to look at him. His memories were hurting him, he could not believe that he hurt his only son in such a horrific fashion. “Please tell me, I did not hurt Arthur like I think I did?” His voice sounded almost broken. 

Gaius looked down to the floor, how was he supposed to tell the king, that he in fact did hurt Arthur. And Arthur did not come for help of his own.

But Gaius also felt his heart harden a lot. The prince would never be the same again, and if the king had any care for Arthur, he would have been able to fight it. “I am sorry Sire, but to which instance are you referring to?” Gaius made sure to keep his voice neutral. Uther turned to him with a look of pure horror on his face.

The silence stretches in the room. “How many times?” Uther demanded. His heart was beating to fast. He could feel the bile creeping up his throat. “Three times Sire.” A fact nothing more nothing less. Gaius could still feel the cold horror that went trough him the first time the torture came to get him. Arthur had moved to the end of the room, but he was so far out off it. He had retreated slightly into his own mind, not knowing how to cope with the fact that his father had sentence him to this.

Uther stood up, almost losing his balance. “Sire, I do advice before you talk to Arthur, that you calm down, and try and not get mad in his presence. The last time you talked to him, he tried to run from his room.” Gaius wanted to test how much he could remember, but he knows better. Uther was silent. 

“Why can’t I really remember anything from the last few weeks?” Still as steel. A man that is not easily moved. “You were under enchantment Sire. We had a struggle to break it.” Gaius made sure that his voice is neutral.

Uther sank back into the chair. This was a mess and he had no idea on how to go and fix anything with his son. “Will I gain my memory back?” “With time Sire, give it a week or so, maybe sooner.” Gaius waited to see if the king needed anything else. When a few minutes passed in silence Gaius said softly but firmly.

“Sire, this is not my place, but Sire would need to talk to Arthur. And please listen when he talks about how he feels Sire. He would need it to help him heal.” With those words said Gaius turned around and left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uther was silent for a long time, Arthur started to think he would not get an answer. Uther winched inwardly when he realised the true answer would hurt Arthur as well. “Because I thought it would help to beat obedience into you, that you should have known your place. And I realised now how wrong that was.” Uther had decided that the truth would be the only way to start to bring healing to the family.

The two weeks it took the king to completely get his memory back, had passed slowly. Arthur could train again, with the promise that he would take it easy and that he would allow Merlin to look after the wounds after each session.

Morgana and Arthur had also taken to rebuild their friendship. For the most part was it going well. 

If it was only the truth. Everyone who looked into the prince’s life did not find fault, they did not see the hours where he laid sobbing his eyes out after nightmares, trying to piece his own believes back together. Everyone saw the fake confidence the prince was projecting, except Merlin. 

Merlin saw how Arthur was slowly losing more and more off himself. He saw how the tiredness was making him slow in training, how he did not talk and make jokes. Merlin saw the masks the prince donned each day and how it was slowly killing him.

It all came to an edge on one faithful morning when Uther knocked on Arthur’s chamber door. Arthur barley said enter when the king came into the room. The effect was immediately. Arthur stood up and backed away from his father. 

Uther stopped to move closer when he saw the terror in his son eyes. He knows no matter what he said, there is nothing he would ever be able to do, to make right what he did. Uther winched from the tongue lashing he got from Gaius three days ago, about going to see his son. Gaius made it clear that he was choosing the cowardly why now. Uther winched when he saw his son grabbing Merlin’s arm, as if he is scared to be left alone in the room with him.

When that thought hit him, he realised it is true, his son is scared to be alone with him. Merlin quickly whispered something into Arthur’s ear, since he let the vice like grip go. His eyes where darting trough the room. 

“Can I talk with you please Arthur?” Uther made sure to keep his voice low, he wanted to make this right, but he realised now that it would be far from easy. Arthur did not speak up, he knows he should properly answer, but his voice felt stuck. Merlin was still standing next to him which he was incredibly grateful for. Not that there really was a why for Merlin to leave since Arthur was still holding his arm.

A tight nod was the only answer Uther got. “Can we talk alone?” Uther realised that would not be able to happen with how Arthur had paled. He almost sank to the floor if it was not for Merlin quickly grabbing him to keep him upright. “On second thought, that properly will not be for the best.” Uther cast a glance to Merlin who was still holding Arthur up as he struggled to get his breathing under control.

Uther could only watch as Merlin guided Arthur to a chair, helping him to sit down. Merlin stood a little bit back, but it would be easy for Arthur to keep him in eyesight. Uther went to sit down across from Arthur.  
The silence that was holding them captive was suddenly broken when Uther said: “I am really sorry for hurting you Artur. I know that no matter what I say or do would make you believe me, but I truly am sorry.” Uther made sure to keep direct eye contact with Arthur.

He saw as Arthur swallowed hard, as his hand made fisted. He knows that the next words out of Arthur’s mouth would more than likely hurt him, but he also knows his son needs it to heal.

“Y-You are sorry? You were not sorry when you ordered me to be whipped, you did not listen when he begged you the second and third time not to do it, since the wounds were barley even closing from the first time. You just ordered him to continue and he did not have a choice. You where there while I was whipped, and you must have heard how I begged him to stop. Promising I would try better.” Arthur pressed his fist against his mouth, his body was a bundle of nervous energy. He fears what his father is going to do, with this outburst.

Uther got up, he pulled the chair closer to Arthur, when he sat again, his hand hovered over Arthur’s knee. “I am not going to try and excuse myself Arthur. I know what I did hurt you. So, let it out.” Uther tried and kept his voice soft and even. 

“Why?” That is all Arthur could try, he wanted to know why his father could not work trough the anger of the enchantment. Arthur knows his father was not truly to blame but the magic that was holding him captive. But if he cared for his only son, why did he not try and fight it.

Uther was silent for a long time, Arthur started to think he would not get an answer. Uther winched inwardly when he realised the true answer would hurt Arthur as well. “Because I thought it would help to beat obedience into you, that you should have known your place. And I realised now how wrong that was.” Uther had decided that the truth would be the only way to start to bring healing to the family.

“Get out!” Arthur’s voice was furious. While he screamed that had he pushed himself up from the table. His knuckles were white as he tried to control his anger. “Just get out.” This time his voice was a lot lower. The tiredness in his voice and broken look in his eyes made Uther worried a little bit. 

He left the room without saying anything else. He knows that there is still a long time that would need to pass, but hopefully for now this would be a rocky start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the tears stopped. He just sat against Merlin, feeling desolated. How many years would he need to try and keep his father favour. How many times more would he have to stand up for the kingdom. Feeling the why it was trying to kill his spirits, he turned his hand back to his leg. The slight pain kept him grounded. Merlin again pried his fingers away from his leg, making him cry out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take note that there is reference to self harm in the chapter, so if it is triggering to you please do not read.

Merlin barely had time to reacted when Arthur sank back to the floor, his whole body was shaking. Merlin was not sure if it was from the anger or because he was panicking. All he could do was gather Arthur into his arms, holding him while he cried.

Arthur kept mummering why repeatedly. Merlin did not have the answer for him. Merlin winced a little bit when Arthur pressed his nails into his leg. He gently pried his fingers away from his leg. Arthur was struggling to keep his breathing under control. 

“Focus Arthur. Just focus on my breathing.” Merlin’s voice was gentle. He did not want to put extra pressure on Arthur, but if Arthur did not calm down soon, well he would just make himself sick. “Just focus on it.” Trough sobbing breathing Arthur followed Merlin’s breathing pattern, slowly calming down. 

When the tears stopped. He just sat against Merlin, feeling desolated. How many years would he need to try and keep his father favour. How many times more would he have to stand up for the kingdom. Feeling the why it was trying to kill his spirits, he turned his hand back to his leg. The slight pain kept him grounded. Merlin again pried his fingers away from his leg, making him cry out.  
“Please Arthur.” Merlin’s voice was soft but pleading. He could not help but nodded. 

Before Arthur could say anything, Merlin suddenly asked. “Why don’t we go out for hunt?” A mere suggestion, nothing more, nothing less. Arthur half froze at the question. On the one hand it would be a why to get away from the castle, without hassle, but only if he took some knights with him and he did not know how he felt with their presence at the moment really. 

He still feels unsure about who their loyalty lays too. Or if some off them is really his friend. Merlin seeing the reaction just pulled him back into a hug. “Calm down, if you don’t want to you don’t have to.” His voice was soothing to Arthur. Arthur knows he can talk to Merlin, but he was not sure how to properly voice his feelings. So, the silence stretches for a few minutes, Merlin had taken to humming something.  
Arthur had to make a conscious decision. He knows he can trust Merlin; he was simply scared off the reaction he would get. “I – I want to go on a hunt, I just don’t know who to trust of the knights. And truth be told I would prefer to go alone. Well not completely alone, I still want you there.” His voice trailed off when he realised what he said.

“Thank you, Arthur, for trusting me.” Merlin’s voice was awed. Arthur’s eyes fell onto the ground. “And Arthur I know of just the right Knights, that are loyal to you. They want what is best for you, they are your friends. Even if you struggle to believe it.” Merlin’s voice was firm. “If you want, I could arrange everything.” Arthur just nodded at that. 

It would be good to get out of the castle. “Merlin, what about the nightmares?” Arthur’s voice was tingled with embarrassment. “I would stay with you, when one came on, I would wake you Arthur. Try not to worry about it.” Again, Arthur could only nod his agreement. The fear was slowly becoming a friend, someone he was used to.

Arthur suddenly pulled Merlin closer. Merlin’s arms went around Arthur holding him tightly. “I’m so sorry.” The apology was whispered against Merlin’s shoulder. He was not sure why Arthur was apologizing for so he only tightened his arms, hoping he could offer a little bit of comfort. 

Arthur relaxed slowly against Merlin. His body feels cold. After a while Arthur pushed himself away from Merlin, they both have there tasked they need to complete for the day. Arthur feels the dread for the day climbing into his bones. He wanted nothing more than to lay in bed and just forget everything. But unfortunately, has he council meetings to sit through.

Merlin helped him get ready for the meetings and before he exits the door was, he pulled into a firm hug from Merlin. 

The walked to the council room was in Arthur’s humble opinion over to soon. Arthur could not bring it in himself to make eye contact with his father. He sat at his normal place, when he was asked something he would answer, but he never really gave an answer.

The hours drag by slowly.

When the last meeting finished, had Arthur just standing there, unsure if he should say something to his father. When Uther made his why over to his son, everything in Arthur screamed to run. To beg for forgiveness. But no words passed over his lips. 

Uther did not wait to say anything. A brisk how are you was in the air. Arthur froze at the question. He did not want to answer it. “Arthur, I know this mean more than likely nothing to you now. But I am proud of you. And I do love you, even if I don’t show it.” There was a note of pleading in his voice, but Arthur just turned around and left the room.

How long did he wished he would hear those words? He did so many misdeeds to appease his father, and never did he say he cared about him or that he loved him, but now he does? Arthur did not notice where he was heading. His mind lost in thought.

When he reaches the edge of the citadel he turned around and slowly made his why back to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I once made the mistake of showing him a drawing I made for him. Merlin, he looked me dead in the eye and told me that no prince can do art, that we should be learned where it would be useful. After that he search my rooms and burned all off the paintings.” Arthur’s voice sounded choked but now that the words where coming there was no silencing him.

Merlin waited at the steps for Arthur, Merlin could easily see the red rimmed eyes and again he could feel the urge to ripped Uther apart rise in him. The only good thing of the day was that Uther had allowed a weeklong hunting trip and the knights are all more than happy to go. Now it would be up to Arthur on when he wanted to leave.

Arthur gave Merlin a nod and they bought silently made there way to Arthur’s chambers. When they got there Arthur made his way over to his bed, just sitting down, he did not say anything. Everything felt like a mess in his head. Arthur tucked at his hair as he tried to quiet his thoughts down. Merlin pulled Arthur hands away from his hair. 

“Calm down, what happened Arthur?” Merlin made sure to keep his voice soft, but the question was clear as day.

Arthur was silent for a few seconds. “He finally told me he is proud of me, that he loves me. But if he really loved me why did he not fight the enchantment? I always felt worthless because of him. Everything I did was to try and make him proud, but never did it help. I was always useless when it came to learning maths and the history of the lands and languages. But I always tried my best and not once was that enough.” Arthur tried to pull his hands out of Merlin’s, but he holds them firmly before he can start tucking on his hair again.

Before Arthur realised what happened was he crying again.

“I once made the mistake of showing him a drawing I made for him. Merlin, he looked me dead in the eye and told me that no prince can do art, that we should be learned where it would be useful. After that he search my rooms and burned all off the paintings.” Arthur’s voice sounded choked but now that the words where coming there was no silencing him. 

Arthur’s body crumbled against Merlin as all the horrors from his childhood slowly made there way out of him. “That is why I decided it would be better to become a knight from early on, at least it was something I was good at.” His voice was so soft on the end of the sentence that Merlin really had to lean in to hear what he said.

When the silence started to stretch made Arthur pull away. He already felt bad for relaying so badly on Merlin the last few weeks, coupled with how upset he is feeling made his face burned with shame. Merlin seeing this just pulled him back, he slowly rubbed Arthur’s hair. Merlin knows deep down that there is nothing that he can say that would make Arthur feels better. 

Merlin could feel Arthur slowly relaxing against him, so Merlin continued with what he was doing just slowly working his hand trough Arthur’s hair. 

When Arthur was properly relaxed Merlin brought up the hunting trip. “Arthur, I spoke to the King this afternoon and he said it would be fine if you go on the hunting trip.” Merlin had felt Arthur tensing up again when he bought up Uther. 

“Arthur, I know you feel unsure about the other knights, but please these twelves are your friend’s. They are loyal to you and only you.” Merlin’s voice was so full of conviction that Arthur could not help but look up hopeful. 

Merlin gave him a slight smile. “So, I take that you are alright with the trip?” Arthur gave a nod. His throat is sore from all the talking he had done. “When would you like to leave?” Arthur thought it relatively quickly.  
“Two days from now Merlin, we would leave at dawn.” Arthur gave Merlin a tentative smile, hopefully this would be a good trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The words slowly started to build in his own head, getting louder and louder. He did not even realise when he started to sob. His nails dug into his arms, breaking the skin from the pressure. This is his fault; he was not strong enough to handle the situations better. Slowly he started to scratch at his own arms. The pain slowly grounded him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the tags, there is mention of self-harm in this chapter.

Arthur sat alone on his bed, he had dismissed Merlin for the evening, he just needed to be alone for a while. No one fretting over him. His heart missed a beat when he realised, he is missing Merlin beside him. He felt fed up with the constant need to have someone next to him, to tell him that everything would be alright.

He curled into himself. Arthur rubbed at his eyes again. Everything was too much and to numb at the same time. Thoughts run trough his head at lighting fast speed and he just could not grasp them, to analysis how he is feeling and how he should deal with this. 

He could feel his heart rate starting to beat faster and his breathing become too fast. And he tries his best to control it, but it is just not possible. He could feel the tears on his face as he realises, he does not know how to cope with this anymore. He just wanted silence that he could control for a moment. 

Arthur pulls his knees up to his chest and warps his arms around his knees hiding his face in his arms. 

Pathetic, weak, useless.

The words slowly started to build in his own head, getting louder and louder. He did not even realise when he started to sob. His nails dug into his arms, breaking the skin from the pressure. This is his fault; he was not strong enough to handle the situations better. Slowly he started to scratch at his own arms. The pain slowly grounded him.   
When he realized what he did he could feel the shame immediately. His skin was broken on places. There would be no why he would be able to hide it from Merlin. He falls back onto the bed, just blankly staring up. 

The morning came to fast for Arthur, who did not sleep a wink. His eyes were puffy from crying and lack of sleep. He could feel the headache starting to bloom. This was his own fault. If…   
If only he had done better. 

Arthur closed his eyes when Merlin slowly pushed the door open, he knows he would more than likely not fool Merlin, but he just wanted a moment of peace. He could hear Merlin sitting the tray down on the table, and then the normal ‘rise and shine’ made its way over to his bed as Merlin opened the curtains. 

Arthur did not respond to it. Merlin made his why to Arthur’s bed, he had the suspicion that Arthur was awake. 

Merlin could immediately see the puffiness to Arthur’s eyes. “Arthur?” He made sure to keep his voice low. Arthur slowly opened his eyes. Arthur adverted his eyes when he saw Merlin, the shame was still settled deep. 

Merlin sat down next to him. “What happened last night Arthur?” he keeps his voice soft. There was no need to do blaming when he could see that Arthur was worked up and did not want to talk about it.   
Arthur could not find it in himself to answer Merlin. 

Merlin gently tip his chin up so that he would be able to look Arthur in the eyes. “Whatever it is, I will not blame you.” The soothing tone made Arthur looked to his bedding. His arms where still under the blankets and he could not find it in himself to show them to Merlin. He knows deep down that Merlin will not judge him, but he still could not help but fear that this would push their friendship away. How does anyone be saddled with someone who could not even control their own emotions?

The silence stretches into an uncomfortable one. 

Suddenly there was a rush of sorry coming from Arthur. Merlin could barley figure out why he would say that when he suddenly saw Arthur’s arm. The wounds where already starting to heal as it was not deep into the skin, but he could see on a few places where it deep enough to draw blood and near the elbows there where crescents that looked like fingernails. Merlin could feel the regret starting to form for leaving Arthur alone.

“Arthur?” The question was clear in his eyes and for a moment did Arthur just wanted someone to know what is going on his head. 

“My fault.” His breathing was fast. Arthur’s eyes darted all over the room. “It is my fault Merlin, for everything. I am nothing more than useless, I am weak. If I only did better, then nothing off this would have happened. I should have tried harder to convince father not to go after them, that is would not have been worth it, then maybe not so many people would have been killed. It is my fault Merlin. I deserved it, I deserved it to be hurt, father was right to be angry with me…” Merlin pulled Arthur against his chest before he could continue.

“Arthur, I need you to listen to me. This was not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You did your best, but you were outnumbered in the council room. Not one of the people in your kingdom holds you accountable for what happened. They heard by the other servants how hard you fought to keep them safe. And they are proud of you Arthur. You already show you would make a wonderful King one day, because you would always try and protected them, and they know it now for a fact.” Merlin whispered into Arthur’s ear. 

Merlin just hold Arthur as his tears slowly sank into his tunic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight.
> 
> If anyone knows where I can search for some 6th century folklore please let me know.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin swiftly stepped in front of Arthur. “I can not answer for the king, Sire, but for the kingdom you would be. You are going to bring the five kingdoms together and with it magic as well. Do not doubt yourself Arthur.” Merlin had pushed Arthur’s chin up with his hand to make sure they both look each other in the eyes.

Uther stands outside Arthur’s chamber door. He felt the horror settle in of what his son had just say. His hand was still in position to knock but he let it slowly fall back next to him. He knows Arthur had tried his best and all he and the council had seen was someone trying to interfere with there plans. 

Uther pressed his hear up against the door, ignoring the guards enquiring look. He could not hear what Merlin had said but only the sobs of his son. Uther just stood at the door; he did not know what to do. To go now into the room while Arthur was brittle might not be the best but at the same time he wanted to go in and tell his son that everything would get better again.

In the end he slowly turned around and made his why back to the throne room. His mind was racing. For a moment Uther felt alone. Truly alone. And that is only his own fault. He hurt his son, instead of caring and loving him like he should. And then he realised he had hurt Morgana as well.

Uther looked around the room, he knows he should run council today and listen to the villagers. But there is a lot he needed to repair. Uther walked to the door and quickly said to the guard to make sure all the people on council need to know that the meeting is cancelled for the day. They can get together the next day.

Uther slowly made his way over to Morgana’s chamber. He hoped that she would be amendable to eat dinner with him. Uther took a deep breath when he almost run into Gwen, who was on her why to Morgana’s chambers. She gave the King a slight curtsey as greeting but was on her why again. Uther slowly loos himself in his own thoughts again

Merlin had forces Arthur basically to take a bath and then get him back into bed after he had breakfast. There is no way on this planet that he would allow Arthur to face the day as he is now. While Arthur was bathing, he quickly went to his room and grabbed a salve for his arms.

Arthur was subdued the whole time Merlin was with him, which only made Merlin worried even more about him. Arthur did not look up while Merlin helped him dress or when he was forced to eat. He could still feel the shame that was burning trough him from where he had scratch himself. 

Arthur just stared blankly at the floor when Merlin was suddenly next to him again. He was slightly startled when Merlin sat down next to him. “Want to tell me what you thought about last night?” Arthur longed to tell him what went trough his head, but at the same time he knows that Merlin maybe will not fully understand what he means.  
He shook his head violently to indicated that he does not want to talk about it. 

Arthur felt a sense of relieve that Merlin will just not let him be, even when he was like this. It had sometimes also happened when everything was plain normal.   
“Arthur, if you ever need to talk know that you can talk to me.” Merlin’s voice was soothing to Arthur. Arthur suddenly pulled Merlin into a tight hug. “Thank you.” Arthur’s voice was hoarse, but Merlin could hear the relieve in his voice.

They were both a little bit startled when there was suddenly a knocked on the door, Merlin went to open the door. “Yes?” 

“I’m here to inform Prince Arthur that there would be no council meetings today, everything was postponed until tomorrow morning.” The guard sounded out of breath. Merlin gave him a beaming smile and just a quiet thanks.

Arthur looked slightly worried about the sudden change in schedule. His father he knows prefer to stick to the day schedule as much as possible. Suddenly he could not help but to fear that he did something wrong again. Arthur’s breathing slightly picked up. Merlin turned to him worriedly when he heard a crash.

Arthur was as pail as a ghost. 

Merlin quickly made his way back to Arthur. He did not touch Arthur. “Arthur?” There were so many words that can go with that sentence but the silence where golden. Arthur looked at Merlin with panic in his eyes.  
“What if I did something to made father mad again? The last few times he did this, he beat the living hell out of me.” Arthur’s words were rushed but the fear in them broke Merlin’s heart.

“Arthur, listen to me, the enchantment it broken. Even if you did something to make him mad, he will not punish you to such an extend again.” Merlin made sure to look Arthur in the eyes when he said it. Arthur pushed his hands against his face.

“What if he stills feels like it Merlin, maybe the enchantment only showed him wat he wanted to do from the start.” Arthur voice broke in the middle. “I know I would never be good enough for him or this kingdom.” The words slipped so suddenly out of his mouth, that he reared slightly back and then turned around. 

The only thoughts going trough his head is why did I say that.

Merlin swiftly stepped in front of Arthur. “I can not answer for the king, Sire, but for the kingdom you would be. You are going to bring the five kingdoms together and with it magic as well. Do not doubt yourself Arthur.” Merlin had pushed Arthur’s chin up with his hand to make sure they both look each other in the eyes.

“It is going to be alright Arthur. One way or another.” The promise was whisper into Arthur’s ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so please come and tell me where the story can do better. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight
> 
> I do not know where this story is going to go in all honesty and I think I should almost end this one and start working on a sequel.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before Merlin could say anything, had Uther started to speak. “Is Arthur here?” His voice was slightly guarded. “He is asleep, Sire.” Merlin made sure to keep his voice soft, so that Arthur is not bothered. Uther could not help but feel the worry turn around in his stomach. “Is he alright?” How he wishes he could only turn back time.

Uther knocked softly on Morgana’s door, he can hear her and Gwen laughing. He gave Gwen a nod when she opened the door. The girl had a look in her eyes that he could not really figure out what it was. She opens the door wider allowing him entrance into the room. 

Morgana gave him a cold look, which made him slightly nervous. He pressed the feeling down, how could he ever be nervous of his own daughter. “Yes?” Her voice was as cold as ice. 

“I was wondering if you maybe want to dine with me tonight?” Uther wanted to shake himself, how could he be so unsure of himself. He pressed the feelings down, he wanted to make right what he had wronged. He had decided that he no longer would demand obedience from his children. 

Morgana lifted her one eyebrow in wonder, she never heard Uther sounded like he sounds now. “May I ask wat is the occasion?” She looked at him with a quizzing look in her eyes. “I want to make right, to both you and Arthur. I have realised that I have hurt you both in ways that I would never understand. And I know that one simple dinner would not make anything right, but it is the only place I can think of to start.” Uther was glad that he sounded back to normal. 

Well he sounded normal for himself, his ward had heard something else in his voice apparently. “I will be there, but you will not force Arthur to attend if he does not want to. Is that understood?” Uther felt a shiver made its why down his back and he nodded. 

“Good, then I will see you this evening.” With that she turned back to her dresser. Gwen gave a slight curtsey and made her why over to Morgana. Uther turned around and left the room. He tried to gather the courage to go and see his son next. 

He could still hear his son words floating around his head, and he knows he is the reason that it had happened. He is the reason his son was in this suffering. Tonight, would be the only time they would have a change to have dinner together, since Arthur is going on the hunt tomorrow, according to the servant would they be away at the most for two days. And after that was there a visiting kingdom coming. 

Uther could feel the urge to let a messenger go and cancel it, but he knows that he could not do it. Uther had wanted to set up Arthur and the princess of the land Lady Cassandra, but now he is not going to do anything. If Arthur wants to spend time with her wonderful, if he does not well, he would try and make other plans, to secure the treaty. 

Before Uther realised it was, he back in front of his son’s chamber. He could not hear voices. He still knocked softly to make sure he does not startle anyone in there. He did not wait long before Merlin had opened the door. 

Before Merlin could say anything, had Uther started to speak. “Is Arthur here?” His voice was slightly guarded. “He is asleep, Sire.” Merlin made sure to keep his voice soft, so that Arthur is not bothered. Uther could not help but feel the worry turn around in his stomach. “Is he alright?” How he wishes he could only turn back time.

Uther stands still in front of Merlin’s searching look. He knows the boy is un-naturally loyal to Arthur. Uther could not but feel how he relaxed slightly when Merlin finally answered. “He had a bad night Sire.” Uther decided not to ask anything else anymore. 

“When he wakes up, asked him if he would like to join Morgana and me for dinner tonight. He does not have to attend if he does not want to.” With that Uther turned around and went back to the throne room, his mind on his children.

Merlin looked as Uther went back to wherever he wants to go before he slowly closed the door. He was deep in thought. Merlin went to check if Arthur was still asleep, he gave a slight smile when he saw that Arthur was still asleep. For the first time the prince looked a little bit peacefully. 

Merlin shook his head and continue with cleaning up the chambers. He knows he can not allow Arthur to sleep to long, otherwise would his sleep schedule be hard to get back to. Merlin just finished cleaning the chamber, he gave a glance outside to see where the sun is sitting, almost midday he decided it is time for Arthur to wake up.

Merlin made his why back over to Arthur, he gently brushed his hand over Arthur’s shoulder. “Arthur, time to wake up.” He softly called out. The last thing he wants to do is startle him. Merlin gave a slight smile when he saw the sleepiness in Arthur eyes. Arthur just gave him a quizzing look. “Feeling better?” Merlin kept his voice soft.

Arthur pushed himself up. His body felt slightly weak, but at least it is better than he felt earlier in the morning. Arthur only nodded to Merlin. He still could not face Merlin. “Arthur?”

“Imsorryabouthtismorning” Arthur said it so fast that Merlin could not understand it. “Arthur, would you please say that slower?” 

Arthur hands dig into the blanket. “I’m sorry about this morning.” Merlin could hear the shame in his voice. 

“Arthur…” Merlin trailed off. He was not sure how he could encourage the idea that he would not leave him, even when this happened. “Artur, you do not have to be sorry. I do not blame you. It happens, just know that I am here for you, if you want to talk.” Merlin said firmly. 

Merlin pulled Arthur into a strong hug. Just holding him. After a while Arthur pulled away. He already missed the heat of Merlin’s chest against his face, the feeling of security. 

“Your father was here, while you where sleeping. He asked that you join him for dinner, but he also said that if you do not want to attend that it is fine.” Merlin could see how Arthur tensed up; they both know he is going to attend even if he does not want to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so please come and tell me where the story can do better. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are the wrongs I did against you in the last few years?” Arthur tried to articulate what he wanted to ask. He does not want a kingdom were his people would suffer anymore, he wants to be a fair and just king one day. And truth be told he has no idea how to do it.

Arthur gave a slight groan. This is the last thing he has the energy for. His mind was racing trying to think of something he might have done wrong. “Merlin?” His voice was hoarse. Arthur still did not look up at Merlin. His fingers were clutching the blanket. 

Merlin wanted to sign but he did not, he gently put his hands over Arthur’s trying to give him some form of comfort. “Yes?” His voice was soft, and Arthur could not help but relaxed slightly next to Merlin.

“Did I do something wrong?” Merlin frowned at the question not quite sure what the prince was meaning. “Did I do something wrong against you?” the question came so soft. Merlin gently pressed the prince head up that he could look Arthur in the eyes. “What do you mean?” Merlin’s brows where frowned and Arthur suddenly realised, he was the last person to make him look like that.

“What are the wrongs I did against you in the last few years?” Arthur tried to articulate what he wanted to ask. He does not want a kingdom were his people would suffer anymore, he wants to be a fair and just king one day. And truth be told he has no idea how to do it. 

“Arthur where is this coming from?” Merlin’s voice had disbelieving sound to his voice. Arthur eyes darted back to the blankets on the bed. “I don’t want to be like my father Merlin. He builds this kingdom up on pure fear. Blood and military are how he keeps his people in check. How can I do this differently when that is the only why I know how to rule?” Arthur’s voice broke and he jumped slightly back when Merlin’s hand was suddenly on his cheek. He realised with a start he had started to cry.

“I’m sorry.” Arthur curled up into himself. Merlin did not say anything, but he started to pull Arthur out of the fetus positions he had taken up and against his chest. Merlin could feel how Arthur slowly started to relax against him. “The only thing you should truly learn Arthur is to listen. You are going to have advisors and councilors and you need to listen to them. But at the same time, you need to listen to yourself. You will know best what is good for your kingdom, never doubt that.” Merlin said it as a whisper into his ear.

Merlin slightly tensed up when Arthur suddenly have both his arms around his waist pulling Merlin closer to him. But he quickly relaxes when he realised Arthur was returning the hug. “What would I have done without you Merlin?” Merin chose not to the answer the question when he realised the answer would have been more than likely dead. 

They sat there in silence for a while. 

Arthur pushed himself away from Merlin with a slight groan. He would give anything to stay within his arms where he felt safe, but he has work to do and Merlin as well. Merlin gave him a worried look, but he did not say anything else. 

“Will you draw a bath for an hour or two before dinner please?” Arthur could not help but grimaced slightly at the thought of begin in the same place as his father alone. The cold pit of fear settled deep within his stomach.

“Off course Arthur.” Merlin gave Arthur an encouraging smile. They would be able to do this, it would only need time. “Would you like to eat lunch?” Merlin wondered if he only should get something light for Arthur, but at the same time he knows that it would more than likely be wasted. 

Arthur only shook his head. He started to stand up. “Come on, we both have work that needs to be done today.” Arthur tried to project some confidence into his own words, but it did not really show. Arthur made his why over to his working table and he watched as Merlin left the room. 

His eyes darted over all the paper littered over his desk and gave a slight groan. He had been putting off his own duties and now he would need to play catch up. 

The time had flied while Arthur work and he was slightly startled when the door suddenly had opened. He watched as four servants both buckets of water into his room, Merlin was on there heals with something in his hand. 

Merin helped them pour the water into the bath and then he put something into the bath, soon the room smelled like lavender. Arthur could feel how he slowly started to relax but he waited until Merlin called for him to come and bath. 

Arthur made quick work of his clothing before he stepped into the warm water. Merlin got a stool behind him, still holding a jar of something. They both were silent. Arthur had tensed up again when he realised Merlin would be in a blind spot, but with gently coaching he started to relax again. He knows he can trust Merlin. That Merlin would not hurt him. 

A whimper made it past his lips when Merlin slowly started to work the knots out of his back. He could feel himself relaxing more as Merlin hands danced around his back working the stress out of them.   
He jumped slightly when Merlin suddenly touch one of the wounds. Merlin made a calming sound. “Please…” Arthur voice trailed off. He was not sure why he said please, what he wanted Merlin to do, but Merlin knew him well and moved his hand away.

Arthur body went slack from the sudden adrenaline that went trough him. “Are you okay?” Merlin voice was soft. Arthur could only nod. He was not sure why he reacted like he did, he just knows that the thought of anyone seeing his back and then touching it had made him panic. 

Merlin quickly helped him was. His gently movements made Arthur calmed down for the most part, but the pit of fear was sitting deep in his stomach, he does not know how he would be able to get rid of it, or if it would go away on his own in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so please come and tell me where the story can do better. Or what you enjoy of the story. Hope you all enjoy the rest of the story. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uther got up when he saw that Arthur was pail. “Arthur? Are you alright?” He tried to make sure that his voice is as non-treating as possible. Arthur could only nod. “Come sit down, you look like you are going to fall over.” Uther helped Arthur into the seat. He quickly realised that it was he that had that effect on Arthur.

Merlin got Arthur dressed in silence. He wanted nothing more than to make him feel better, but he has no idea how he can do it. So, he only worked in silence, trying to give him the moral support he needs without saying a thing. 

“Merlin?” Arthur was unsure what he wants to ask. Merlin gave him a questioning look. “Thank you, for everything. I know I am not one of the easiest people to handle and was properly even worse than normal. Thank you that you for not leaving.” Arthur tens up a little when he felt Merlin’s arms going around his shoulders. For a few beats he froze before sinking against Merlin, wrapping his arms around his waist.

Arthur nuzzled into Merlin shoulder, breathing in, he could smell herbs and wood on Merlin. Merlin smelled like a warm summer day. They stood there for another few seconds before Merlin gently pulled back, giving Arthur a warm smile. 

Arthur wished that they did not have to go anywhere, just wanting to say here where it was warm and safe. 

Merlin gently run his fingers trough Arthur’s hair making sure that it was neat. “Arthur, if you need to leave tonight, please leave.” Merlin’s voice pushed Arthur out of his own thoughts, and he realised he still had dinner with his father. 

Merlin gently rubbed his thumbs over Arthur’s hand, giving him something to focus on. “If you need me to make a distraction I will. Just signal it.” The words gave Arthur a pause. He realised again in how lucky he is, to have Merlin with him. “Thank you.” Arthur gave Merlin a grateful smile and started to make for the door.

When they got to the room they normally dined in, Arthur could not help but to stop. The fear of doing something wrong makes his pulse race slightly. He knows that there is nothing to be worried about, but at the same time he could not help but fear Uther. Knowing that he would punish anyone going against him.

Uther gave Arthur a smile when he walked in. Arthur heart sank a little bit when he realised that Morgana was not there yet. Would this be an alone dinner? He could feel how his heart rate started to go up.   
Uther got up when he saw that Arthur was pail. “Arthur? Are you alright?” He tried to make sure that his voice is as non-treating as possible. Arthur could only nod. “Come sit down, you look like you are going to fall over.” Uther helped Arthur into the seat. He quickly realised that it was he that had that effect on Arthur.

He swallowed around the knob in his throat. “Arthur, if you rather eat dinner in your chambers, that will not be a problem.” He winched slightly at how his voice sounded. Arthur only shook his head. He can do this.

Both looked up when the door was slammed open and Morgana walked into the room. Arthur felt how relieve flooded his system. He was never as glad as he was now to see his sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it is short, next one would be longer.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I realised that I messed up. I have hurt both of you, in ways that I would never be able to apologise for. The only thing I can try and do is try and change my behaviour to you both. You are both adults and are cable to make your own choices and I should learn to listen to you.” Uther words trailed off. There was so much he wanted to say, but he was unsure of how to do it.

The atmosphere was icy. Arthur was staring for the most part just at the table. Morgana and Uther were talking softly, trying to pull him into the conversation. After a few moments of seeing that it would be near hopeless to try and pull Arthur into the lull of the conversation, Uther decided to ask him questions directly.

“Are you ready for your hunt tomorrow Arthur?” Uther voice had still the hard note to it, that made everyone fear the king. But Morgana could see that he was trying. She casted a worried glance at Arthur. He was still just picking at his food. Anyone with eyes could see that he had started to lose weight. 

Arthur forced himself to look Uther in the eyes. “Yes, father.” His voice was slightly strained. Uther could feel the urge to kick himself again. Arthur was his pride and joy for so long, but he had always forced themselves to be distanced with each other. 

Morgana could not help but to wonder why they were dinning together. This was not one of Uther’s normal dinners, where they would discuss problems in the kingdom. Or when he started to urge her to take a husband that would strengthen Camelot’s borders. She narrowed her eyes a little bit. She sits her silver ware silently down. 

“Uther, if I may ask why you wanted to dine together?” Her voice was icy. She could see from the corner of her eye that Arthur hand had tighten around his fork. His eyes were down casted to his plate, but she was relatively sure that he had tensed up. 

Uther look at his daughter for a long moment. 

“I realised that I messed up. I have hurt both of you, in ways that I would never be able to apologise for. The only thing I can try and do is try and change my behaviour to you both. You are both adults and are cable to make your own choices and I should learn to listen to you.” Uther words trailed off. There was so much he wanted to say, but he was unsure of how to do it. 

Uther suddenly pushed his plate away standing up. “I truly am sorry for the hurt; I have caused both of you.” With those words he left the hall. He could only hope with time they would be able to forgive him.   
Arthur and Morgana sat there with big eyes, neither of them was sure of how they should respond. Arthur was the first one to reacted. He pushed himself away from the table. “If you are finished, I would escort you back to your room.” Morgana almost flinched form how numb Arthur sounded. She just nodded and stand. The walk back to her chambers were fast. 

When they got to the door, she quickly pulled Arthur into a hug, she broke it equally as fast. The gesture was just there that she would be there for him. 

He gave her a slight grimaced smile and then turn to walk back to his own chambers. Arthur slowly loosed himself in thought. When he realised that he had walked to a tower. The tower was empty these days. He pushed the window open, just watching the stars.

Arthur was unsure of how long he was standing there when he heard footsteps behind him. He froze up slightly when he realised it was Uther. 

Uther stood still in the tower room watching his son. He could see the lost look on his face, and he longed to make the situation right. 

“Why did you do it?” Arthur voice was soft. Uther walked closer to him. He racked his brain trying to find the words to say. “Truth be told, I do not know.” Uther could see how Arthur had tensed up at the answer. He knows the answer is not satisfactory. “I wanted to force you to follow orders, orders I know realised that has caused a mess. Arthur, the only thing I know is that the enchantment made me feel infuriated and disrespected. When you spoke up against me, the only thing I wanted to do was make you bow down. But not once did you.” Arthur could hear that Uther was struggling to gather his words, but at the same time he could also feel the disappointment settle deep into his gut.

Before Arthur could say anything, Uther continued. “Arthur, nothing I can say would make anything better. But you need to know, that I am proud of you. I am proud to call you my son. You stood up even when you knew it would lead to a beating and you tried to defend the people. You can be proud Arthur; you would be a great king one day.” Uther wanted nothing more than pull his son to him, to give him the comfort he needed. 

Arthur bit back a sob. He would not cry now. He can do it when he is back in his chambers. “I’m sorry.” Rushed out of Arthur mouth as he run out of the tower to his chamber. He knows Merlin would be there more than likely.

At a few steps he almost fell over his own feet, but he manged to make it back to the room before the tears started to fall. He sinks down onto the floor, slightly biting his fist to try and keep the sobs down. 

Arthur was slightly startled when Merlin sat down next to him. “Are you alright?” Arthur tried to take a deep breath to answer Merlin. The only sound that escaped him was a slight coke whimper. When Merlin pulled him down to rest against his chest, he went willingly. “Follow my breathing Arthur.” Merlin voice was soft but commanding. Arthur felt himself taking deep breaths in and out. Slowly he started to calm down. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Arthur just shook his head. In truth the only thing he wants to do is get into bed and sleep until he feels better. Merlin just hummed slightly and then pulled him up. Arthur shivered slightly when Merlin pulled himself away. 

He quickly helped Arthur into his night clothing. Before helping him into bed. His fingers gently running through Arthur hair until he fell into a deep sleep. Merlin gave him a sad smile, before retiring into the anti-chamber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys/girls. Here is the next chapter. Longer than the last one as promised. I hoped everyone is enjoying the story so far. We are almost reaching the end and truth be told I do not know how I feel about it.
> 
> Please leave a review, constructive criticism is always welcome. You can also find me on tumblr @lover-of-midnight.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin quickly organised the chamber, also munching on some bread. Arthur looked up startled when Merlin gently run a comb trough his hair. “You are going to be alright. The other knights care about you and they are your friends.” Merlin voice was soft. Arthur cast his eyes up to Merlin face, his eyes told the truth about how unsure he truly felt.

“Father please. The druids are peaceful people. They will not hurt Camelot.” Arthur said it softly even while there is a pleading tone in his voice. Uther turned around to his son. The fury in his eyes made Arthur wished the floor would open and swallow him whole. 

“You are the Crowned Prince of Camelot, why won’t you do what is necessary to make sure the future of the kingdom is safe?” Uther rounded to his son. Arthur was sure he could see the fear in his eyes. “Father, that is exactly what I am trying to do. We can not keep on pushing the druids away. They have amazing healers we might need one day.” Arthur tried to keep his voice steady. He knows he would never be able to hurt his father even if he wants to.

Uther grabbed Arthur by his tunic. “We will never need them, and it would do you well to remember it.” The dresser Arthur was hurled to, almost broke against his body weight. He could hear the snap in his arm where he landed. Arthur took a deep breath to make sure he will not cry out. 

“Father please. For the sake of Camelot, we can not go to war. The druids are under the other kingdoms protection.” Arthur new it would only be a waist of breath and more than likely more pain for him. The fist that collided with his gut, made him bent over almost bring up his lunch. 

“If you have anything else to say, think wisely.” The anger in Uther voice made Arthur kept his mouth shut.  
“Arthur, wake up.” Arthur sat upright with a start, almost hitting Merlin in the face. His eyes roamed around the room searching for a threat. He tensed up a little bit when Merlin suddenly pushed him back into the bed, before climbing in next to him. Arthur could not help but to relax against Merlin. He knows he is playing with a fine line here. If he crosses it, he would more than likely just get hurt. 

Arthur hand reach for the arm that got injured. He knows there is no injury there, but the pain had flared up again. “Want to talk about it Arthur?” Merlin’s voice was so soft. A whimper was the only answer he got.  
“It was the second day after the invasion. Father was sure he saw druids among the men that had attacked. He wanted to order a full-scale attack against them, to try and eradicated them from around Camelot.” Arthurs voice trailed off. Merlin gently run his fingers through Arthur hair, giving the prince a change to talk. 

Merlin hummed a sound that sounded like a question when Arthur suddenly hit is face on Merlin chest. 

“I am just as part of the problem. For so long, I did everything Father said to do, without even thinking twice about it. How would I ever be a better king than him, if I am so much like him?” Arthur words were nothing more than a whisper.

“You have changed Arthur. You are no longer the pig-headed prince who used his servant as target practice. You have stopped trying to get to impress your father. You started to do stuff; I know you never did before. Remember that servants and peasants talk. It is not hard to hear the gratitude the people have for you.” Merlin voice was soft against Arthur ear.

The silence slowly started to stretch. Arthur hands were curled into Merlin’s sleeping tunic, making sure that he would not be able to leave the bed. Half-asleep Arthur felt the kiss on his head and the soft sleep well. 

Surrounded by the smell and warmth of Merlin, Arthur slowly started to fall asleep again. 

Arthur woke with a start when Merlin stood up. His left side of his body was feeling numb and all tingly. “Merlin?” His voice was gruffy. Merlin turned around. “Go back to sleep. I am just going to get the last things together for the hunt.” Merlin voice was still soft. “I will bring you something up to eat. And you will eat everything.” Merlin said the last part with a little bit force. 

When Merlin left the room, Arthur started to get the fire going again. Not a lot, since he knows that they would be leaving soon, but enough to give the room some light. He knows if he opens the curtains that it would be still dark out.

He quickly got a candle also lit. He made short work with getting his own clothes out. He knows that Merlin will be surprised, but he wanted to surprise him as well. When Arthur was finally dressed, he looked to the table, he still felt unsure about the trip. But at least it would be time away from the castle. 

He was slightly startled when Merlin walked into the room. Merlin gave him a bright smile when he saw that Arthur was dressed. Arthur could feel his insides get warm and tingle. He was unsure what the feeling was, but he knew he wanted to feel it again.

Merlin put a plate with some cheese and bread on the table. Arthur gave it a slight glare; he was not in the mood to eat. “Come Arthur.” Merlin gently steered Arthur to the table. Merlin pushed him to sit. “Eat, you need your strength, it is going to be a long day on the horses.” Arthur knew that Merlin was right. He ate slowly, not really focusing on the taste.

Merlin quickly organised the chamber, also munching on some bread. Arthur looked up startled when Merlin gently run a comb trough his hair. “You are going to be alright. The other knights care about you and they are your friends.” Merlin voice was soft. Arthur cast his eyes up to Merlin face, his eyes told the truth about how unsure he truly felt.

Merlin gently pull Arthur into a hug. He knows that Arthur for the most part do not like begin hold but the last few days he could also see that it helps relax Arthur for the most part. Arthur almost immediately relax against Merlin.

The hug did not last long when Merlin gently pulled away. “Come we need to get to the stables.” Arthur drew strength from Merlin confidence. He knows he can not duck away from them but at the same time he wished to run back to his chambers and never coming back out.

When they got to the stables could they hear soft chattering going on. Arthur froze just outside the door. Merlin gave him a gently nudged to walk in properly. His body felt tensed up. He quickly took stock of what is around them. 

Before he truly knows what to say had Leon pulled him into the group. Merlin gave them a warm smile while he quickly made sure that both horses Arthur and he would use are ready for travel. Merlin cast a quick glance to were Arthur was, he still looked a little bit uncomfortable but more relaxed than normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I am not completely happy with this chapter, wanted to write the hunting in as well, but at the same time it is like why to many emotions so the hunting will have to wait for the next chapter.  
> Hope you all are enjoying the story so far. 
> 
> Constructive criticism is always welcome so please leave a review and tell what you think of the story. I can also be found on tumblr @lover-of-midnight


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That evening, when we made camp, you screamed at them for slaughtering the druids as they need were mindless beasts. You tried to make a point of them begin still humans even when they had magic. That is when I realized that I would stay a knight because when you finally take the throne you would be a King, that would serve with justice and empathy.” Leon gave Arthur shoulder a small squeeze. “We all will follow you, Arthur, we saw and heard everything you tried to do for Camelot.” The quiet reassurance gave Arthur something to think about.

They had ridding for the better part of the day. Gwain was telling some story about where he was involved in a drunken fight. It half looked to Merlin as if he were trying to drag a laugh from Arthur. Arthur was as usual in front of the group. 

Merlin could see that he was slightly less tense than this morning but for the most part did he not look relax at all. Merlin longed to give him the comfort he needs but knows better than to try and do anything between the knights. He wanted to show Arthur that it is alright to show vulnerability in front of his friends. That this is the one place he could be himself.

Before the sun reaches the highest peak had they found a small clearing to set up camp. They all work together, still chatting and for the most part just relaxing. They know there is no need for them to take anything home, but they were still going to try and catch some rabbits and birds for a stew in the evening. 

They were near a stream at least so Merlin was not surprised when they got back to the camp after they had set snares for small animals that the knights wanted to go and swim. Merlin just gave a grin at them and went to sit a little bit away and read. He had no intentions to get wet. 

Arthur almost groaned out loud when he realised the knights are going to pressure him to get into the water. The last thing he wants is them to see the scars on his body. He watched as Merlin grabbed a book and decided the easiest thing to do, would be to join him. Merlin gave Arthur a smile and patted the ground next to him. 

Arthur let the pretends of his images melt away as he sank down next to Merlin. He almost melted against Merlin, his breathing even out. Merlin easily slung his arm around Arthur, pulling him slightly closer. Merlin knows the knights will not say anything or tease them. The chatter around them as the knights got ready to swim made the air peaceful.  
The rest of the day passed in a slight haze, as dusk broke they went to see if they had caught anything in the snares they had set, while Merlin got the pot ready to make a stew, he had packed enough fresh vegetables that even if there is no meat no one would go hungry. 

A scattering of laughter made Merlin look up, Arthur's face was red as a tomato but there was a small smile. Merlin felt like a ton of weight was lifted from his shoulders, he could see now that Arthur would heal with time, he only needs the support and love from his friends and family. 

The knights helped to skin the rabbit while Merlin continued with the stew, they passed the meat they could use on to him before Arthur took the rest away from camp to dispose of it. 

The knights were slightly worried, Arthur was quieter than he normally is, it took them a few tries to get him to be involved in the conversation, they all know what had gone down in the castle, it is hard to ignore it. 

When they started to talk about who is going to take the first watch was Arthur the first to volunteer, he needed just a little bit of quiet around him. Leon saw the way Arthur was slightly leaning more to Merlin than was strictly necessary. He had seen how Arthur had relaxed against Merlin the afternoon. Leon could not but helped to wonder how this would turn out if the prince is going to get hurt yet again. 

Leon waited until everyone was asleep before he moved to sit down next to Arthur, they were a few feet away from the camp, but the fire was high enough that they would be able to see where they are going if something happens. 

Arthur gave Leon a slightly warily look, he was not in the mood to deal with anything now. Arthur knows that he could trust Leon, but the slight fear that anything he says would get back to his father, made him want to shuffle away. Leon's voice was a mere whisper. “Are you okay?” Arthur's hands clench around his knees, he does not know how to answer it, not without everything else going on around his head come spilling out.

“Arthur?” The prompt made Arthur lookup. His emotions were clear in his eyes, the fear, the confusion. “No, it gets better some days and other days I can’t even leave the bed.” His voice was rough. “I am a failure for this kingdom.” The last part a mere whisper. Leon looks at him unsure of what to say or do. 

The silence stretches a little bit and Arthur started to feel that small ball winding tight in his chest again. “I am sorry, I should not have bothered you with this.” Leon frowned slightly when Arthur suddenly projected a little bit more confidence, he realized quickly that it is fake.

“Can you remember when you were fifteen and we had to raid that Druid camp?” Leon made sure to keep his voice even, the last thing he wants to do is hurt the prince even more. But he needs to be showed that what he said is not true.

Arthur gave him a weird look, before nodding. There is no way that he would be able to forget it. No matter how he tried to make sure the guards and knights did not kill them, the more of a slaughter it had been. 

“That evening, when we made camp, you screamed at them for slaughtering the druids as they need were mindless beasts. You tried to make a point of them begin still humans even when they had magic. That is when I realised that I would stay a knight because when you finally take the throne you would be a King, that would serve with justice and empathy.” Leon gave Arthur shoulder a small squeeze. “We all will follow you, Arthur, we saw and heard everything you tried to do for Camelot.” The quiet reassurance gave Arthur something to think about.

Leon wished he could say anything else, but he knows that Arthur will come to them if he wants the advice he would need. Leon slowly stood up to leave, giving Arthur the change if he wants to say something, that he could. 

Arthur just sat there in the silence as his mind raced, he still felt unsure about everything but maybe there would be hope for a better future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive criticism is always welcome so please leave a review and tell what you think of the story. I can also be found on Tumblr @lover-of-midnight


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am to be crowned king in two weeks.” His voice was slightly panicking. Merlin only hummed at him, his focus on the wound. Arthur hissed out when Merlin started to clean deeper into the wound. At least the blood had stopped flowing.

The trek back to the castle was done in happiness, the knights were laughing for the most part to the stories that were begin shared between them. Anyone with two eyes could see that Arthur was relaxed. He looked slightly happy. 

When they finally made their way back to the castle where they met by a guard who looks unsure, the lower city was in chaos. The people were running about trying to get away from men who were killing everyone they saw, and they could hear some sort of explosive going off in the castle. The knights did not try and figure what was going on, they run straight to where the battle was taking place. 

An army was trying to take the Kingdom, and Arthur knows that he would not allow it, not know, not ever. 

The battle took for hours before the knights were finally able to make there way closer to the castle. Arthur knows for a fact that the knights had seen Merlin do magic, he knows that there is nothing that could be done now. Arthur was slightly worried, that his knights were badly injured in the process. 

They were a lot less than they were normally, unfortunately, is there nothing that they would be able to do about it. It is something that every knight and guard knows when they signed up for the training, that they will lay down their lives for the kingdom. 

Arthur and Merlin rushed to the throne room, where a sorcerer was standing behind Uther. Arthur could not help but to freeze up when he saw the man, it was the same one as a few weeks ago. He could feel the horror turn in his stomach. He could not find the words to say anything. He was part of the reason why Uther had killed even more magic users. 

The mage lifts his hand swiftly, his eyes flashed gold, Merlin did not even think of saying anything, he just willed his magic to form a shield around them, the blast made objects fly around them. Arthur could feel Merlin magic calming him down slightly, it was as if he was back to a friend. 

“Go to your father Arthur.” Merlin's voice was soft. Arthur could feel himself slowly making his way over to his father. The fear was slowly growing. He knows that there was nothing to fear, the mage more than likely did not put an enchantment on Uther again. Not if Merlin wants him to go to Uther. 

Arthur crouched down next to his father. Uther could see the terror in his son's eyes. He gave a groan where a stray spell had stuck him. Arthur helped him away from the mage. They had their eyes on the battle going on between Merlin and the mage. With a shout, suddenly Merlin pulled thunder from the sky, breaking open the castle roof, struck the mage dead. 

Merlin froze where he was, he turned slowly his head to the two men standing off to the side, before Uther knew what was going on was Arthur making his way up to Merlin. Arthur turned around to face his father, his hand on the pommel of his sword. He was not going to allow his father to hurt Merlin. 

Merlin reacted first. His hand slowly made its way to Arthur's back. “Arthur, calm down,” His voice was slightly winded from the battle, the mage was strong. Arthur stood up slightly taller. “No, he will not hurt you.” Uther flinched slightly from the terror and anger he could hear in Arthur’s voice. He knows it is time for a change. 

Uther showed his hand to Arthur, making sure to kick his dagger away from him. “I will not harm him.” His voice was even. Arthur's eyes showed clearly how unsure he was feeling, the feeling of this is his father, he can trust him but at the same time the other voice in his head, telling him to make sure he keeps his guard up at all times. 

Merlin gently put his hand over Arthur’s hand holding onto the pommel of his sword. “Arthur, calm down.” Arthur's eyes swept to Merlin. Uther slowly stood up. “Arthur…” Uther’s hands were still open showing his palms. Arthur did not look up again. Merlin just gave his hand a slight squeeze. “Son, you are bleeding,” Uther said it urgently. 

Merlin immediately moved forward to inspect his body, when he saw the blood seeping out from his shoulder. Artur realized suddenly that he had not even felt the pain since the battle started. “Come.” Merlin’s voice was gentle. He gently moved Arthur to his chambers, Uther following them. He knows he would more than likely not be allowed to stay, but he needed to make sure Arthur would be okay. 

Merlin grabbed a cloth and put Arthur’s hand over it. “Keep pressure on it, I will be right back.” His words were slightly rushed but they need to heal the wound as soon as possible.

Arthur looked at his father warily. “You promise you will not execute or banish Merlin?” His voice was soft as if he was scared to voice his question. Uther gave his son a long look. “I am not going to do anything, I think it is time for you to step up to the throne.” The words were slightly rushed. But Uther knows deep in his heart that Arthur would make a better king. 

Arthur looked up when his father said that, unsure if he was playing a joke. “Why?” Arthur could not understand why Uther would want to give up the crown, he loved to rule. “Arthur, I have caused damage to you and the kingdom. The kingdom would prosper under your rule.” Uther sounded so sincere that Arthur was unsure what he should say. 

“In two weeks, you will be crowned king,” Uther said it just as Merlin came back into the room, he had a basin and some clothes. Uther just gave them a nod and then left the room. Merlin gave Arthur a questioning look as he started to get the amour of Arthur. 

“I am to be crowned king in two weeks.” His voice was slightly panicking. Merlin only hummed at him, his focus on the wound. Arthur hissed out when Merlin started to clean deeper into the wound. At least the blood had stopped flowing. 

The two weeks had flowed so fast past, that when Arthur saw again, was he in front of Geoffrey begin crowned king. The night flowed with a feast big enough that everyone was part of it, tables were set up in the lower town, all of the people feasting.

Arthur looked at everything with a slight sense of wonder, he could not help but feel as if it was a dream. Suddenly he hears Merlin voice next to him. “So how is it to be king?” Arthur could hear the teasing in his voice. “Asked me that when I had a day behind me from beginning king.” His voice was soft. 

Arthur knows if it is not for Merlin support every day, that he more than likely would not have been able to keep up the appearance. His hand slipped easily into Merlin’s. 

In the last two weeks, Arthur had come clean with his feelings for Merlin, and they had decided to give it a try. A blush made its way over his face when Merlin kissed him on his cheek. They listened to the cheers going up in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the end of Empire, for now, I am planning on writing a sequel to this. I hoped everyone has enjoyed the story as much as I have. Thank you for everyone who left a comment and kudo.


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